Everyone is so obsessed with Halsey Minor right now it’s driving me nuts. You would think that journalists would be smarter, but they regurgitate and frotteurize vague stories into some painful waste of words. Why do they do it? They fear his net worth could absorb their company like a whale shark eats plankton, bitches.
Guess what, “media,” he’s taking you for the “proverbial ride.” He doesn’t have to care about anything; he’s already made it. I say DO THE MATH. This is a game to him, can’t you tell? Part of it is the media’s obsessions, but he’s also egging you on. Read our analysis of the Daily Progress Landmark construction halt if you don’t believe us. We fell into this trap, too. But guess what… construction never even freaking halted! This guy has nothing to lose other than really good cocktail stories about how you will publish anything about him, even if it makes no sense.
Seriously the UNCUS cover story was retarded. It basically went down a paltry list of Halsey’s assets saying how he was having trouble or something like that. What the article failed to mention or to analyze was his actual financial situation. I mean the dude is rich, duh. How does finding examples of 5 or 6 expensive things that don’t make money indicate he is going broke? UNCUS didn’t even have the honesty to give Halsey’s side of the story. Most of these “assets” aren’t even really owned by him because most are real estate and financed by the bank.
And now there is this Valleywag article calling him the “angriest rich man in America” which is equally lame and concludes with this insightful piece of envy:
So why is Minor spending money on art instead of making it himself? This kind of rage, channeled into creative endeavors, could command high prices even in a depressed market. His Internet comments are a whole new form of literary oeuvre. His work is fresh, surprising, visceral, and inexplicable — everything the jaded art world desires.
Wait, spending money on art? I can’t believe it. Frivolousness at its climax baby. It’s like having sex with a blow up doll, only it’s a newspaper and an imagination and no one has any balls. Is this journalism? I know, but it’s RETARDED.
I guess this is sort of pandering to the “celebrity” obsession in each of us. It’s also about journalists validating their jealousy by getting comments from someone who actually reads about his online image.At the same time it’s a nauseating attempt to extract a story out of what amounts to nothing. Have you read any of his comments on the internet? They are hilarious…
Running for governor? Ludicrous idea, but Portfolio believed it. Response on Waldo’s blog:
Well, you can breath a sigh of relief since I am not running for governor. This article is from a tabloid.
Notice how many people’s names are attached to quotes. The only named person, my friend Ted Waitt, they claimed no longer likes me. They never even interviewed him and they used a 5 year old publicity photo! Its seriously laughable.
My favorite quote from some unnamed board member is that I am “psycho”. Maybe that’s how I built one of 2 NASDAQ 100 internet companies from scratch during all the madness and maintained a stable management team. Oh and I spun out 2 other multibillion companies including Vignette, the fastest growing software company in history. Now that’s psycho!!
These are just stupid words in an article without a reason for being. And I’ll just stand by my accomplishments. Lets see if Portfolio makes it 10 years and gets bought for $2 billion by CBS. Something tells me I don’t have to worry about a follow up story in 5 years.
So there you go Waldo. Next time mention I have a hotel I am building in Charlottesville thats opening next summer. Thats real information.
First drink’s on me.
And there is this one in response to an obsessed journalist…
Owen, I am now fearing you have got some kind of weird, stalker, fetish thing going on. You are now obsessively tracking down anything I say anywhere across the web. By the way, commenting on the web is not unusual behavior these days. Its actually pretty common. In fact I have noticed it on your site.What’s bizarre is you having me set as a Google alert and making all my comments into articles.
So, it’s ending here. We aren’t media so we don’t have to fawn over a rich dude. Don’t they have some sort of clinical diagnosis for this? Who the fuck cares, seriously?
Related posts:
- Halsey Minor Not Running for Governor
- Charlottesville’s Halsey Minor Gets Profiled in Conde Naste’s October 2008 Portfolio Magazine
- Halsey Minor Doesn’t Get the Last Laugh [PIC]
Is this thing on? Where the hell is OD?
It’s like having sex with a blow up doll
Enough with the porn Thor, I mean seriously…
that plankton looks like a ladybug.
by the way, ladybugs look like, but do not taste like, candy.
Tufy McFucklebee’s gonna blow in here and get all marine science on your ass Thor for making a drawing of a ladybug for plankton.
hahahahaha!
in 1930-whatever, someone called Henry Ford an idiot. He filed a lawsuit for slander, and the defense proved to the court, using carefully chosen examples from Ford’s statements, writings, and from testimony of those around him, that by weird opinions he held and stuff he didn’t know (earth is flat?) he could be called with justice and was, legally and in fact, an idiot.
halsey needs a publicist and speechwriter if he’s going to do this stuff properly (tweak the media, I mean)–his comments and statements lack any essential panache or real wit… they tend to the lowest common denominator. ‘baddest psycho in bass-fishing’—a nice bit of snark, but poorly conceived and executed.
no more HM here is a good call, Thor.
but we MUST report on it when he loses the Sotheby’s lawsuit !!
What does frotteurize mean in Angry Thor World? I tried to look it up and it looped back to this article so you have created a super new word which I may or may not use next time I am stopped for speeding. Is it derived from frottage? Here’s hoping.
Stinkbugs don’t look like candy, but taste like it.
In french it’s “to rub” so i’m thinking they’re fluffing up stories?
I have a herd of those blighters in the house, and have to admit I find them very characterful and they cause no harm(ie stench) at all.
Might I mention duck that at the end of that article there was an intriguing link which said ‘How spiders work’. I clicked it and have to say I was disappointed. Seems they don’t work at all, they just be. I was really expecting something else entirely.
I’m feeling very parlie today.
Spiders do too work! They make friends with pigs.
i love being angry
Thor baby, I got that anal bleach for you…
not interested.
That’s not what you said last night. C’mere…
‘How Anal Bleaching Inadvertently Saved My Sex Life” by Snowy-pucker Shenanigans
Was this post related to this article by chance?
http://www.readthehook.com/blog/index.php/2008/12/05/minor-fires-danielson-on-landmark-hotel-project/
Camel back and straw and all that jazz, I mean.
Hold your breath Cvillains.
I ran into a great pal who is an image consultant (in this town), and gave her HM’s contact info.
Expect great things in the near future as she pulls up her socks and gets to work on him:
a haircut, a sportcoat that fits, an at least middling command of the English language,
a wit to accompany his tantrums, a notion of decorousness to suit his aping the gentry…
@4 – Yes. I think the threat of you guys getting a Tuff Tuff science lesson is lesson enough. Best worst plankton evar.