With the Farmer’s Market opening on Saturday for the year, I remembered the unpleasant experience of wading through giant baby strollers. Seriously, I grew up in a baby stroller made from 1/2th inch metal and cloth. Now the freaking babies are in Formula 1 Racing Baby carriages; and I have to dodge them to get a hot donut. The size of your baby receptacle does NOT indicate your love for your child.
With the success of the original Charlotteville Rant of Anger and Dispair, it’s time to introduce fresh rants for springtime. Make sure you add your own below.
Ordering Water at Bars? F YOU - Sure, bartenders don’t make any money when people order water, but do you really need to roll your eyes and throw a hissy fit? Even worse, we were at Si Tapas when the bartender not only decided to roll eyes, but to give us a 5 minute lecture on how he doesn’t care about customers that order water because he makes no tips. Thanks for keeping us informed. Water is essential to lasting a long night and not having a hangover. Do you really want us to feel nervous about asking for life’s basic necessities. Next time we’re ordering a pyramid stack of ice cubes, with 20 lime slices just to get back at you.
The Landmark Skeletor / Holemark / Hoskelemark – Take your pick. The halfway constructed Landmark Hotel is one of the ugliest things on the mall right now and we’re going to stare at it for the next 2 years, minumum. Good job guys, way to go on leaving a giant concrete carcass in our midst. At least it doesn’t smell.
$7 Million for Crooked Bricks and Heel-Grabbing Cracks – It’s such a relief when you know your local government got jipped. Why? The bricks aren’t flush with each other, certain sections still will catch heels and everytime I walk on the mall, I’m reminded that someone forgot to level the sand. OOPS! Oh wait, was that not a requirement of construction? At least Urban Outfitters will bring people to the mall, right?
The Recession. - F you recession. That is all I have to say to you and your real estate vacancies and bankrupt local businesses.
Agressive Prius Drivers – I’ve witnessed, not one, but two incidents of agressive Prius driving meneuvers in Charlottesville. Your car is essentially a tin can on wheels. Do you really think road rage is going to scare that dude in the SUV? Why don’t you scare him with your gas mileage, instead?
What are your rants?
[pic from omniNATE]
Related posts:
- The Charlottesville Rant of Anger and Dispair
- Say Hello to Our Little Charlottesville Rant Line: Add 202-5062 to your Phonebook!!
- Craigslist Rant
Maybe you should try throwing down some tippage if the bartender is nice enough to go fill you up a glass of life’s necessity.
@1 – we had ordered beers 5 minutes beforehand.
Just saying, it’s a way to say thanks. I certainly don’t expect people to tip when they order H20 but the ones who do, I appreciate the nice gesture. That bartender does sound like a jerk though.
People that dont know that “jipped” is just as racist a term as any other?
/knowledge is power, baby. holla if you hear me, my gypsy brothers and sisters…
@4 – if it is, that was not my intent.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gypped
If? You wouldn’t say “jewed” would you? Same thing, just a smaller demographic to offend. I know you didnt mean it, but it comes from “gippo”, which is a derogatory term for gypsy.
You should say “ripped off”, as that term could only offend shady drug dealers. That term originates from kilos of weed or coke coming across the border in the seventies. They would be originally packaged to weigh one kilo without packaging. At one stage of the transfer, a person would “rip off” a corner so the package weighed one kilo with the packaging. Least thats how I understand it…
/the more you know.
Ordering Water at Bars? Is everything at Si fried? Put a lime in it, make it free, I am the designated driver!
The Landmark Skeletor / Holemark / Hoskelemark – Makes crazy loud scary noise in the wind too, blocks the sun. It’s a great monument. If Minor doesn’t win it’s because the bank is throwing chips in with the developer and rooking moneybags for his cash. Whoever wins it will sell it.
$7 Million for Crooked Bricks and Heel-Grabbing Cracks – As it rains, the brick will even out. Maybe. They better be adding more sand. On 3rd street they covered everything with sand at the end of the project.
The Recession. – Let’s get stimulus grants for local businesses. Is there a good source of info on that?
Aggressive Prius Drivers – Spelled with 2 g’s.. It’s cool car, but the gas mileage is not that great. Get a bike.
Lotus Flower – the new triple album release from Prince.
You know what pisses me off? The people who think they can order a drink by coming behind the bar and/or grabbing my arm. WTF?
@7 – should i use the term “piked”
NSFW – language
Those ppl. should be booted out of the bar. Unless they are Catholic priests, of course.
Or maybe I’ll buy a taser.
Some local punks flipped over my car last night. I’m used to the bashed in mailboxes, but fucking with my car is too much. I’m just too white to live in this part of town anymore.
@13: Someone broke into my car Saturday night by X Lounge. People suck!
Yeah, people do. Nobody took anything from my car. Just rolled it onto its side. Hopefully if anyone reading this blog saw or heard anything, they will report it to the police. At least 3 people flipped it over. Somebody has to know something.
Where do you park your car, shen?
Okay, I’ve been waiting for someone to mention Si Tapas so I can ask: what was up with the near riot there on Friday night?
WAIT a second here… You wear heels? Is that how you get snagged on the bricks?!
@16: Behind the glass building by Garrett. Oh well, last laugh’s on me cuz they stole a blanket out of my trunk that is contaminated with POISON IVY.
I’m totally fine with the Landmark Looming Skeleton, so long as the “coming Summer 2009″ sign stays up.
I’ve been trying to read this article for a few minutes now, but I can’t get past trying to figure out how to pronounce “1/2th.”
Halfth? One Twoth?
@17 – Cville reported on it, but in a nutshell, a little hip-hop show, a little violence, a bunch of cops.
Those big-ass baby strollers kind of go hand in hand with those agressive soccer mom drivers in their big-ass SUVs who think that THEIR time & THEIR space is more important than everybody else’s. IMO they’re the most aggressive drivers on the road….and couple that with a cell phone?!! Jesus F Christ!
It’s the new generation of the “Baby on Board” stickers. It’s all about “me, me, ME!”
Hell, my dogs could crank out whole litters, (if I would let them) but you don’t see me bragging about it.
At the city market, these agressive bitches will mow your ass down if you’re in her precious little Jr’s way.
Those big-ass strollers bump into displays, and all the bitches say is “Oops” while they still continue to bump into your shit. Then, when little Jr can walk, these are the same women who will take their children into antique stores, or wherever & let their spawn of toadstool just run WILD.
“Oh, lil’ Jimmy, just stay here & play with the (valuable antique!) toys.” Bratty mothers act like a store is a babysitter. Not the kid’s fault, but he’ll grow up bratty just like his bratty mother with her little sense of entitlement. We should feel privileged that she’s allowing her kid to just TEAR SHIT UP!
O.K. maybe this is a stretch…….although I’ve been working retail long enough to see JUST how this one plays.
They jump on furniture, race around in the store & in general just act like hoodlums cause their bratty mother has never bothered to enlighten them that they’re not the center of everybody else’s universe as well & that when they go out in public, they need to act somewhat civilized. Sure, a kid’s gonna have a bad day, but I think we all know the difference.
Thank the goddess they’re the exception, not the rule.
O.K. my rant is done………and it’s been WAY overdue!
I’ll be back later with my rant on aggressive drivers…..gotta spread it out a little.
Oh, lil’ Jimmy…
Jimmy? Try Madison or Dakota.
@24 Sorry, I’m behind the times. But you’re exactly right!
with regards to the lecture you got from the bartender, next time try this. when he starts to talk, slap a $1 on the bar and say, “here’s your tip, now shut the f**k up and make with the water.” when he brings it to you, dump it on the floor and scream, “NOW CLEAN IT UP!” then leave and go to a bar that doesn’t suck.
Let’s all go to Si this week and order just water.
I think I’ll go to X this weekend and order fire-water
/wearing an elaborate headdress and buckskins
Sorry, headdresses not allowed.
You know what really burns my cookies, Thor? People who misspell aggressive. Not once, but twice. That’s right, Thor.
/Just teasing…
@29 That’s what Sikh said…
@14: People don’t all suck. Some people do things like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6b9bMBXpg
Yay, people!
Now that’s a Flash Mob.
@30 – I can’t change it now… out of spite.
“$7 Million for Crooked Bricks and Heel-Grabbing Cracks”
OMG Yes. This pisses me off so bad. I tried to start a rant about it on the appropriate thread a couple weeks ago but no one was interested.
Doesn’t Dave Norris post on here sometimes if someone calls him out?
Mayor Norris!!!! I’m calling you out. That company did a horrible job. The buck has to stop somewhere and if it doesn’t stop with you, then you’re not fit to hold office.
What the hell happened and what are you going to do about it?
Do they have a QC guy? Or do you bid for a job, get it awarded and then just do whatever you want?
/Totally bidding for the Landmark job…err…I’ll make it out of cardboard and gets my money!
It’s spring and it’s green I can’t rant about much. If I did I would rant about ranting.
I’ll come back when there is something beautiful to write about.
Go outside, get happy and thanks for playing
@37 dieter, you make me feel as happy as a little girl. My sentiments exactly.
/Lucas: Joe, I think it’s gonna be okay.
Joe: What makes you think that?
Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
I want to rant about Thor’s horrible spelling skills. Dispair indeed.
Ok, I recant my agreement about not ranting but come the fuck on…
/All I know is that when I have kids, my kids are going to beat these immuno-sensitive, uber-naive, ultra-dependent ur-pussy kids’ asses. Why, you ask with excited and anxious curiousity? Because mine are going to play in the mud, they’re going to play with cats and dogs, they’re going to play outside in the cold, and they’re going to be spanked (none of this time-out bullshit). That’s why.
@40: Agreed. I grew up sleeping in trees, outrunning bulls, playing with electric fences, and getting the belt on my bare ass if I talked back… and look how well I turned out.
/wait, what?
@23 – Anybody who has worked in one of the local school systems knows and fears this prototype: 3WDW.
I’m a big fan of the theoretical child arguments. Yeah…well when I have my kids. Shakes fist circa 1962. In a Barney Rubble type of argument. They don’t come in a box or during the opening of The Box which we anxiously await. I had all sorts of plans w/ mine as well and check the spanking ordinance. They learn ABC and 911 real quick. Latter before former.
I grew up in the last generation that didn’t have helicopter parents. My kid has been on her own since she was 19 and short of the occasional complaints about subsisting on Ramen noodles she wouldn’t have it any different. It wasn’t fucking easy a minute of it. I refused to have an adult child living w/ me because that would be a disservice to her.
All well and good to make future arguments…but life throws curves. Screwballs and the knuckleball. I did grow up sleeping in trees and am the better for it. “Sermons in Stones. Books in the running brooks and good in everything.”
Anyway, I overheard a conversation once here in town and this almost prototypical pretentious 23 year old grad student was holding court of the crimson king over her minions about how her daddy would go to work in Harlem everyday before dropping them off to private school and how in touch they were because of this and she was going on and on and on about how “you know OUR children won’t be cab drivers”
Well me …being well me..had enough of my dinner being co-opted …so I quietly stood up and whispered to her friend.”I’m sorry, but I’m a cab driver” …we’re a proud folk.
The whispers went around the table and a hush. Elitists. And not even deserved elitism. I grabbed the one at the end as he left. I was just fucking w/ ya…you just have to figure out how. Hug. OK! This generation is a bunch of wimps and I did not raise one. Not in theory. Just fact.
Why, when I was a child, we rode on the HOODS of cars, slept on chicken wire, at botulism sandwiches for lunch and were water-boarded if we even thought about a curse word… and we liked it that way.
I agree about the dirt and all, disagree about the beatings, but either way, seriously, y’all sound like a bunch of old folks. Shall I get off your lawn?
@44: And you were fed napkins. It all makes sense.
The Upstairs is my mini rant- As I look at the banner add on this site asking me to consider going to the upstairs for a tasting menu and half price bottles and decide to check it out. I click on the site (rather nice really) and then check out the wine list. Now along with Floozy, I love me some white burgundy so I check out that section. Puligny Montrachet at $400 is a lot of cash, even half off, but the Jobard Meursault Blagny 2004 at half off is $75. That isn’t a steal but that’s a very nice dining price. But then it hits me, the menu spells Meursault, Meursalt.
I know- it’s like they wrote the menu sitting around swilling super expensive booze or something.
Can I leave a rave instead of a rant?
I went to The Local last night with two friends and it was fucking awesome. Best burger I have ever had in Charlottesville. Excellent mussels and amazing french fries. On Mondays they have half price wine night so we got a bottle of wine for 16 bucks instead of 32. And we had a special margarita that was outstanding as well. Perfect meal and suburb service.
As for a rant, how bout the fact that we don’t need that Meadowcreek Parkway but they are gonna build it anyway… Where is the Western Bypass which is what I want?
@47 What’s suburb service? Is it code for served by a MILF?
@46 Wonder if the banner ad is part of the “meal plan”.
*snicker*
My rant: Its gonna freeze tomorrow while my cherry blossoms are in full bloom getting all kinds of fertilized and shit! This means there is a very good chance of no black cherries this year. Dunno why god hates cherries, but someone should mention it to those Promise Keeper freaks.
/has the biggest cherry tree of any kind in cville, and possibly the 4th largest black cherry tree in all of VA (registered anyway).
@47
Wait and see… The Local’s best days are yet to come, something I wouldn’t be comfortable claiming for some of its neighboring competition…
@49 the upstairs also quotes cvillain on those little menus you get at wineries, but i don’t remember where that quote was said…
@47&50 i think the local has vastly improved since last spring.
@52 will check out local again.
by the way if the Local has fixed their fries I’d be impressed.
the upstairs also quotes cvillain on those little menus you get at wineries
How long before this site reviews their circle jerk chicken?
/too funny to let it go…
One, 25 is hardly old. Two, I’m just tired of seeing this society (more often than not and I’ve been around a lot of kids) raising undisciplined sissies. Sorry to say, time-outs don’t teach children anything. On the other side, I see a lot of parents these days who treat their kids like mini-adults, not allowing them to foster and nurture any type of natural imaginative play.
@49 I think you’re lucky in the fact that it might not get that cold tonight. Not exactly sure how big the 4th biggest black cherry tree in VA is, but you could always string up Christmas lights (not kidding!) or throw plastic covering or tarp (garbage bags taped together, even) over the tree, making sure they reach the ground and weigh them down with stones or something. Another trick is filling up gallon jugs with warm water just before nightfall and placing them beneath the branches of the tree.
Oops I cannot type for the life of me.
@ 56 Thanks for the tips, but this tree is taller than my two story peaked roof house. The trunk measures well over 2.5 feet in diameter and the canopy is easily in excess of 50 feet. Big. Ass. Tree.
And not to judge you, but if you are only twenty five, and have no children, how do you know what works and what doesn’t?
/not picking a fight, sincerely curious.
Belmont Yo, space heaters and fans or could you borrow a smudge pot from a local vintner?
@47, 52
Now that Boheme is no longer — I know Some People on here are happy about that, but I’m not — The Local lays claim to the nicest, most serene outdoor dining in the area.
True fact. (And the place I work has ties to other restaurants that have patio-driven business… don’t tell ‘em I’m pitching for somebody else!)
@58 No, I know. It’s how I was raised. I’ve helped raise/watch other family members kids. I remember how the kids and friends I grew up with were raised. I feel so grateful for how my parents raised me when I look at the rest. They were there for me, they were honest, they let us be kids and play like kids, they taught us lessons and knew when we had to learn for ourselves. Mom didn’t like the spanking and preferred the time-outs but it wasn’t until Dad took over and gave the spanking that we stopped doing the things they told us not to do (talking back, lying, etc.). I admit it’s what I know and for now, until I’m actually in the circumstances I plan for, it’s what I know to do.
I believe in being a parent first, a friend second. Kids should be allowed to play and imagine (I kid you not how many parents I’ve met/known who do NOT foster this), as well as understand responsibility and chores.
I don’t know. It worked for me. My parents are the first people I go to for advice. They have common sense and they instilled common sense in me and that’s just something you don’t see enough of anymore.
And your tree: how the hell do you pick it? Or is it just whatever you can reach?
@ 61 Top half is for the birds, bottom half is for all the neighbors (especially my elderly neighbor), and I send the children up into the middle half with plastic bags for us (if they refuse, I beat them mercilessly, they will thank me later).
Yes. The tree is so big, it has three halves. Even just picking a tiny little portion yields way more than my household could ever possibly eat.
B yo, my black cherry tree is in jeopardy tonight also, though not near as vast as yours. Thankfully, my sour cherry trees will probably fare better. There will be pies! I may go out in the orchard, stand on my soapbox and bloviate this evening– a little hot air couldn’t hurt.
Speaking of bloviating… what’s up with all those people sitting smack-dab in the middle of the Park St bridge to turn left to get on the bypass? Scootch over to the left a little, dipshits. Some of us need to go straight down Park to hit downtown and YOU ARE IN THE WAY.
Also, what’s up with all the cars I’m seeing lately entering intersections on a red? It’s not like it’s a yellow and you tarried too long and got caught. When the light’s been red for a few seconds and you’re only now going through, that’s just so wrong.
@49 nooooo! i was so jealous last summer when you offered them. the weather is not allowed to deprive me of your cherries again!
There’s a conspiracy not to put a traffic light at Park St. & the Bypass. Something about the Meadowcreek Pkwy.
@62 Such hyperbole. You don’t beat children mercilessly. But hey, you should have a picking party! Invite people to pick and then freeze for later. Save money. Economize.
rant: people shouldn’t suddenly slow down to 35 on I-64/95 when they’re in front of me & i’m going 80.
@ 66 Just using overstatement to make my well defined, extremely accurate and insightful, revelatory yet sarcastic, unbelievably accessible and excellently articulated point:
You dont beat children. Period. Well, I dont, anyway. Besides, nobody wants to kick off that whole “stockholm syndrome as childhood – mobius strip of generational abuse” discussion, right? I thought not. Even if they did, I dont think I have it in me.
Dunno ’bout a pickin party (though folks is welcome to have at it), but I have been fixin up the yard for a party this summer if I can pull it off. We’ll see. Gotta just get the idea past the cranky walled off racist neighbor lady otherwise it will be a very short gathering.
@68 can i still bring my anti-foxfield light-up palm tree?
@68 I’m talking about a couple whollups on the ass, not a crack across the mouth. The kind of corporeal punishment you’re thinking of is most certainly abuse. A spanking is not a precursor to generational, cyclical abuse nor to Stockhom syndrome. But to each their own, eh?
Black cherries are yum-o. That’s awesome. About your porch situation, have you ever asked about buying up (I know, buying means money…I’m right there with you) their scrap lumber? I keep forgetting that this isn’t back home where people would probably just let you take it for free, but it’s worth a shot.
@70: That’s what I’m saying. My dad would get out the belt or the hairbrush if I was bad, so I didn’t talk back and I respected him, because, quite frankly, he would beat my ass if I didn’t. “Beat my ass” is an expression though, I wasn’t abused or anything. I just learned to respect my elders. I may raise my children differently but I wouldn’t be afraid to give a smack on the butt where appropriate and don’t see why people are so freaked out by it these days.
I was raised to respect my elders without smacks, and so were a lot of my friends, and so are children that I currently know… I wonder how that is even possible. Hmmm. Ah well, life’s little mysteries.
If you feel like smacking, smack away, I would never tell anyone how to raise their chirren. I know you are not talking about serious abuse. But given that it is not at all necessary to one’s stated goal, one does wonder about the motivation. The smackers will always be smackers, and will always use their childhood smackings as a pure justification for future generational smackings. And non-smackers will always be a bit freaked out by the proposition of hitting a child to Pavlov him into some sort of obedient fear response. I know it works, hell its not even hard, kids are just so malluable, yaknow?
To me (and not to disrespect any of your treasured smacking memories), it just seems intellectually, spiritually and morally lazy. On top of that, man, cant no one in this world drive you right up the wall like your own child. Picture as angry and as frustrated with another person as you have ever been with another person in your life, and then triple it, and you will get a flavor. And you CANNOT walk away, you HAVE to deal. It is all well and good to speculate how you might “handle that situation”, but until you’ve been down that road, well, i dont know what to say. Once “smacking” is a door that has already been opened, if you think that you can hold back when you are experiencing a kind of exhausted frustration and embarrassing rage like you have never EVER tasted, well then… you will be a better parent than me. Go on and give them a “love pat” or whatever semantic trip you want to call it. Me? I just decided to draw the line and never cross it. Its all about the psyops baby!
Damn it. Dont drag me into this. Aw hell… you bastards.
@40. Well. As it happens research shows the best thing you can do to help a young persons immune development is to raise them with dogs and cats. Why? Worms baby, worms. Sure roundworms can cause blindness in children but other infections boost that old immune system up up and away. Reduces allergies, asthma, g.i. diseases (crohns, i.b.s etc) and even the easing of symptoms of multiple sclerosis and other immune mediated diseases, including everyones favorite:food allergies! So let folks wash away if you hate em cause they arent gonna last long. One really super flu will be all she wrote.
/Ahh I love science. And nature. And germs.
@72 Yeah. I second your no slappity-slap-slaps philosophy… I can train my dog without beating him and he doesn’t even speak English.
@72: You were fortunate to be raised well. My parents were winging it and there were Tv dinners and there were spankings. And I never got into any trouble growing up, got good grades, was a virgin till my 20’s, and didn’t do drugs or alcohol. So they did something right. Then again, I just like to smack ass so i’ll continue to rationalize it. I don’t have kids like you so perhaps one day i will and my views will change. My mom once said,”I hope that someday you have a daughter just like you!” and I laughed. But now I cringe.
I do not think it’s right to hit animals. They don’t understand why you’re hitting them so it’s useless punishment. Anyways, I don’t believe animals outright try to disbehave. They usually have been upset by changes or you’re doing something wrong. There’s no reason to lay a hand on an animal unless it’s attacking you.
@72 Damn straight, I’m a bastard. Never met me birth father. And thank God, for reasons undisclosed. My dad now is the best father I could’ve ever asked for.
Interesting, the perspectives on this and I hope no one feels like they’re being dragged into anything regarding this topic. I understand your reasonable distaste for even mild corporeal punishment and the questionable motives behind it. My parents never hit me in anger. Any parent who hits their child in anger is wrong. But to make the child understand after a reasonable request to cease whatever behavior is in question and if continued, firmly stating the behavior needs to cease now, a smack on the ass is sometimes the end-all be-all of the situation. Once I pushed it far enough that my behavior warranted a spanking, I ceased the behavior all together, never repeated, nor was I spanked more than once for the same thing. It certainly wasn’t a daily or weekly occurence; it was more like every several months. Maybe it can be compared to putting your hand on a hot burner. Do it once, remember the pain and you learn to respect it. It’s hardly an unreasonable solution to behavior problems and in most children I’ve known whose parents exercised spanking, they grew up with reasonably healthy mental states and no afflictions regarding physical abuse.
I’ve reread your statement a few times over to make sure I wasn’t purposely trying to pick this argument out, but you expounded a bit on your idea that spanking is the end product of a parent’s frustration and anger taken out on the child, even if the child’s behavior isn’t the cause for their frustration and anger. As I said, any parent who strikes their child in anger is wrong. Kids are kids and parents are parents. Such is nature. In my house, when we egregiously misbehaved, we were told to grab the counter and feel the sting (once or twice, that’s about it). In other houses I knew of, one parent spanked his kid so hard, he knocked him into the television set. There is a difference between those two situations. It’s unfortunate that people try to equate them.
I completely respect your point of view and way of life regarding it, but you were raised the way you were raised and I was raised the way I was raised, yet something tells me we’re both fairly level-headed, sensible, compassionate adults.
I don’t think kids should have homework before middle school.
Just for shits & grins, read Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings by Tyler Perry. It’s hilarious. There’s a section devoted to discipling children. Madea refers to it as “Whup That Ass.”
” Discipline is using the belt. Abuse is using the buckle.”
Whether you necessarily agree or not, the book is hysterically funny……….all kinds of unorthodox ( at least by today’s standards) advice, but the common sense contained therein is tried & true.
…….and, Heart, thanks for pointing out the mispellings. I just hate mispellings, but at least these were just in-a-hurry typos.:)
@66 Sure you should……..they should be beaten 3 times a day whether they need it or not. And you need to beat them first thing in the morning just so you’re one up on them for the day. The same rule applies to Jack Russells.
@76: Grab the counter sounds kind of kinky…we always had to lean over the tub or toilet.
Ok, now back to rants. I will spank you all if you don’t start bitching.
B-yo, how’d the cherry tree fare?
B-yo, how’d the cherry tree fare?
OK, I think. I guess we will see in a month or two.
What petty rants these are. We live in a place that is barely singed by the financial fires that burn in many parts of this country. Our unemployment rate has doubled but it’s still lower than most places are in good times. My rant is that most of us have little idea what a great life we have here. We call forth anger for items that only provide fodder for a South Park episode. I’m not saying that others on this blog aren’t feeling pain and have real issues. It’s really the post I have issues with not the posters.
I watch the post per day seem to decline here and I wonder what the cause is. I don’t post all that often because it all seems so much less compelling. Perhaps the new shiny blog gloss has worn off. It could all be me and my generation with it’s gnat like attention span. I really don’t know for sure.
What would it take to make this blog a better place to come and spend a few minutes around the “water cooler”? Better topics, moderators, or more cute rodents? Perhaps it’s a matter of people just have to work harder and don’t have the time. I would like to have the old cvillain back. The squirrel thread with its link to the silliness that was Cecil and Scowly seems most like what I remember. (BTW if Scowly offers to babysit for the squirrel…well that might be a very bad idea)
It seems like I’m watching a friend wither away. Is this the way cVillain ends: Not with a bang but a whimper.
I’d like to rant about sillyputty being a downer.
yes, they are petty…that’s why they’re called rants
My turn.
What up with single pet-owners being more obsessed than single parents are?
I’ve had pet-loving lovers who let their pets get away with shit that parents never would, and it seems harder to date a pet-owner than a parent.
1. Some pet owners have no clue that maybe I don’t want their pet watching me or crawling on me while we have sex. I just met you. Save the kinky shit for later. If only that were the deal. It’s not kinkiness, it’s inability to say “no” to your pet. Such an inability that you (Shebananagans) will let your menagerie literally crawl all over me. I like pets. Not while your mouth is on my clit, though. Close the bedroom door and don’t let the dogs in.
2. Single parents have grandparents and ex-spouses who can help take care of the baby and occasionally give daddy a day off so he can spend the night feeding ME. Or, if I come over after bedtime, it’s only rarely that Madison or Dakota will slip out of bed and be able to make it through mommy’s locked bedroom door. But with obsessed pet owners, there seems to be no leeway. I don’t like sleeping over your house because you won’t get your scratching pussy off my face, and you can’t spend more than 2 hours at my house without worrying about the next feeding/walking.
@85: Bitch please. I ain’t into no kinky-ass pets in the bedroom shit. That’s gross. And what doors are for.
@86: Bitch please. I ain’t talking about your cat, I’m talking about your scratchy-ass pubic mound. If you let it grow out to fullness like I do, then it’d be as soft as a domestic longhair.
Um, should we leave you two alone?
@87 That’s not very considerate of you.
@87: Bitch, please.
Teri Jhanten Kaat kar tere mooh par laga kar unki french beard bana doonga
@90: Bitch, please
Igao walang kang puit
@ 90, 91 walang hiya ka!
@91: Bitch, please.
Wenn ich keine ass, dann habe ich, wie nur Scheiße im Gesicht?
@83
Sillyputty – We are a small team of unpaid contributors who do it out of love. Moderating isn’t so much of an issue, but creating content does take time and fresh people. It’s not easy thinking of new things to write about everyday which is why you probably have seen posts per day decline. We welcome new input and look to people like you to be inspired to contribute and direct cVillain to where you think it should go.
@93: Bitch, please.
Zet gutt yaffdeh binay decuna laffeh poh
@95: Bitch, please:
Kusu o taberu na, onara atama!
Bitch, please
Bitch, please
Hey #83, we’re just having fun. It’s all harmless……….and cheap entertainment. Life doesn’t always have to be an intellectual exercise……….
OMG! I had never heard of Chris Crocker, and I’ve been in stitches since I clicked on Bitch please.
He’s fuckin’ EXCELLENT!
(what if he & Madea teamed up?)
@ 100 “Leave Britney Alone?”, or any of the 8 bajillion reworks and remixes? Really? Wow.
He was going to have his own reality show for a while there, dunno what ever became of that.
Yeah, I don’t have T.V. (didn’t grow up with one) and I’ve never really been that much into movies. I guess you could say I’m media illiterate……
He (Chris Crocker) absolutely should have some sort of show. (Might make me get a T.V. hardee har.)
Shame to let all that chutzpah go to waste.
“……..Octuplets mother Nadya Suleman says she used money from an inheritance and overtime wages from her job as a psychiatric technician to pay for her early fertilization procedures…..” from an AP story posted 9 hours ago.
This woman was a psychiatric technician? How uproariously & hilariously FUNNY!
@ 103 “Not a sperm of the moment thing.” said one poster.
She wasn’t ovary suited to that job.
/sorry… drunkie
@75 just to stir the pot…if a dog doesnt understand what you want, he aint gonna do the right trick or hes ginna get into trouble right? ad beating the shit out of it doesnt make it learn quicker, right? eg, I get home from work, dog jumps on me, i knock it around til stops. eventually dog doesnt come to me when i get home from work. did it learn not to jump or be afraid of me? who knows! the damn thing doesnt talk! but the money is: fear is at work.
so. you talk to your kids and tell em, say, hey dont climb the neighbors tree. then the neaighbor narcs your little shits out and says something snarky about your parenting. you spank the hell out of Colby or Darcy or whatever the fuck and he doesnt climb the tree. Now. Does he not climb the tree cause he gets it, or is he afraid of being narced out and then getting hit? Does it matter? well, sure if dippy do child understands he is better able to apply those same priciples to other situations too. So if we are looking for understanding, parhaps we should refine our techniques, no?
back to the dog: the best training advice i can ever give is this: if you dont want your dog to get into trouble, dont leave motherfucking trouble laying around. You dont want you dogto get into the trash, put that shit under the sink. He chewing your panties? Lazy bitch put them away!
My feeling is, if it works to be smarter than my dog (and hes pretty fucking smart, fucker sorts recyclables and shit) then it stands to reason it should work to train your kid by being smarter them than too.
Bitch, please
Why are Rose McIntire and Heart 45th using the “f” word more than they normally do?
Because I haven’t any other fucking better word to use anymore.
Unless, of course, someone wants to tell me that it’s some verbal exploitation of subconscious desires.
Really, though, I’ve become lax in trying to up the ante on the vocab/syntax/diction poker game. I’m tired. I ache. I have knots from my left hip to the middle of my back to the left side of my neck. Free/cheap massages in town anywhere, anyone?
/truly in need of a sauna (pronounced sOWna, not bloody sAHna).
I just spent 10 Minutes of my life reading through these posts…and I want it all back.
Who the fuck are you people??!! I weep for the future of humanity. If you’re all friends, as you obviously are, then why the secret lingo and subterfuge on the cute-cute names?
Thor? Come on. Shennanigans….rrrright.
There’s no retard in *cvillain.com*, but there would be if there was any truth in advertising.
Critics worth their salt, restaurant, movie, or social, publish their drivel names in the by line.
Grow a set and then get back to us…or stay in your too cool for school little circle.
@109
I always thought: sAWna. I’m not Finnish, but I’ve been there? Really?
@110 Yep, sOWna. My gram is 100% Finn.
@110 you seem cranky.
@110 Hey, you’re off to a great start with the acid tongue so the talent is definitely there……..but try not to directly insult people. Save it for when someone is an asshole. People mostly just have fun here.
And speaking of growing a set, do you have guts or balls?
@110 I can honestly say I don’t know/am not friends with anyone here…
/thanks for ranting, though!
@110: You spelled my cute-cute nickname wrong
Critics worth their salt, restaurant, movie, or social, publish their drivel names in the by line.
Im not anonymous on this site, and haven’t been since day one. You on the other hand…
/perhaps its your “set” that needs a growth spurt, Cappy McCapslock.
I stay anonymous here cause I’m in the witless protection program
Anonymity has its place.
“Too many of us like to think that we have made great progress in human relations and that little remains to be done. Unmoderated comments provide an antidote to such ridiculous conclusions. It’s not like the rest of us don’t know those words [referring to racism/stupidity/pointless ranting] and hear them occasionally, depending on where we choose to tread, but most of us don’t want to have to confront them.”
Anonymous: None of us is as cruel as all of us.
I would post under my real name but typing Camilla Parker-Bowles every time is such a frightful bore.
Yeah I am with McCapslock…We are all a bunch of inbred narrow minded banjo playing interfarts with complexes. We totally like write esoteric stuff for you not to understand so YOU feel totally like left outside. We’ve been waiting for you to appear to rub our self sufficient blabbering blogging yabber right in your little red eyes, k?! Feel better now baby?
@122 Nothin’ like some good banjo music…….which you don’t have to be inbred to appreciate.
But I appreciated the gist of your post nonetheless.
And as a matter of interest, one night my brother called me with somewhat of a buzz ( I, alas, had no buzz)
& wanted me to listen the the similarities between some Vivaldi & some banjo music. Blew my mind. Two completely different melodies & instruments, but the 2 pieces of music were much more similar than different.
And I like just about any kind of music except jazz…….. although there are some exceptions.
man there are some angry people in my hometown. yikes.