Letter from a “Sort of Cyberstalker”

Posted by Kyle on April 14th, 2009 42 Comments

What do I do with this?

Click for full size.

Related posts:

  1. Updates on the “Sort of Cyberstalker”
  2. Letter from Disgruntled Downtown Mall Businesses

42 Responses to “Letter from a “Sort of Cyberstalker””

  1. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:34 am
    1 Tinkertoy said:

    Eat it Match.com

    Reply
  2. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:37 am
    2 Alteros said:

    wow…

    Reply
  3. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:38 am
    3 TheFlash said:

    …that’s what I always imagined Orchid’s handwriting looked like.

    Reply
  4. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:39 am
    4 belmont yo said:

    Sure its female? Or is that just a “gym” stereotype?

    Reply
  5. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:45 am
    5 Kyle said:

    @4 – I wouldn’t rule out a dude writing this. I will also be on the lookout for anyone who writes those a’s like that.

    When I opened it, I was a little nervous because I kept thinking of that scene from Big Lebowski where they open up the package and it’s a toe.

    Additionally, the return address on the package read “♥”

    Reply
  6. 14 Apr 2009 at 9:46 am
    6 Spunktastic said:

    Woah, woah, woah….”forget your (wo)man”?

    /listen, bitch…

    Reply
  7. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:00 am
    7 VaGodiva said:

    I love how who ever it is admits to stalking and knows this whole thing is creepy but is doing it anyway….

    Reply
  8. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:01 am
    8 VaGodiva said:

    Hope this taught you a lesson Kyle…set your face book so that people must add you as a friend to view!

    Reply
  9. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:05 am
    9 Kyle said:

    @9 – I thought it was on private, but I guess if you lived in Charlottesville you could read my status updates. I’ve changed that.

    Reply
  10. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:06 am
    10 zimage said:

    Creepy. Good way to publicize crossfit-cville though :)

    Reply
  11. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:09 am
    11 Anti-Freeze said:

    Let’s hope they’re not like the Bjork stalker.

    Reply
  12. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:14 am
    12 orchid said:

    @3 i don’t write like a girl, flash.

    Reply
  13. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:22 am
    13 oy said:

    Parlie. Definitely Parlie.

    Reply
  14. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:28 am
    14 shenanigans said:

    It puts the X-balm in the basket…

    Reply
  15. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:46 am
    15 belmont yo said:

    Truth? I think its kinda cute, and as far as stalking goes, its really small beans. Go out and have a drink. Shit, take her(?) to the Upstairs… what have you got to lose? Certainly not the price of drinks.

    Reply
  16. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:51 am
    16 Doc said:

    @17: That’s kind of what I was thinking. But now, after seeing the Jame Gumb-ization of her, will she even want to start posting here under the name _______?

    Reply
  17. 14 Apr 2009 at 10:53 am
    17 shenanigans said:

    @17:See @7. Spunktastic is gonna have to cut a bitch.

    Reply
  18. 14 Apr 2009 at 11:20 am
    18 belmont yo said:

    @ 19 Ahhh. Nevermind…

    Reply
  19. 14 Apr 2009 at 11:34 am
    19 Thor said:

    i can hear the heavy breathing now….

    Reply
  20. 14 Apr 2009 at 11:38 am
    20 Spunktastic said:

    Whatever, I’m too busy fending off my own stalker to care about who buys Kyle a drinky poo.

    Plus, if she gets him liquored up, that makes him a cheaper date for me.

    Reply
  21. 14 Apr 2009 at 12:00 pm
    21 shenanigans said:

    You and Kyle should have little “hobbit-like” babies together.

    Reply
  22. 14 Apr 2009 at 12:01 pm
    22 belmont yo said:

    Hey me too! I have a CL stalker!

    Reply
  23. 14 Apr 2009 at 12:37 pm
    23 Tuffy McFucklebee said:

    Byo, you are the hyperlink king. Nary a bad one. I bow.

    Reply
  24. 14 Apr 2009 at 12:50 pm
    24 belmont yo said:

    I have a black belt in peculiarity.

    Reply
  25. 14 Apr 2009 at 1:37 pm
    25 Sho said:

    My experience with stalkers would be to take into consider whether they are bi-polar individuals or just being funny. Seriously, I have been in similar situations. It isn’t fun if they don’t just have an odd personality.

    Reply
  26. 14 Apr 2009 at 2:53 pm
    26 Floozy said:

    I just ran it through a graphology analyzer… those circles above the ‘i’s are significant, as are the quotation marks.She is female, right handed and under 23. Chances of us finding your bear ravaged cadaver in a ravine on Skyline Drive came in at 73.26%. I say go for it.

    Reply
  27. 14 Apr 2009 at 3:02 pm
    27 belmont yo said:

    Fighting bears and bi-polar stalkers at once in the woods is level 11 of X-fit. Im not sure if Kyle is there yet.

    Reply
  28. 14 Apr 2009 at 3:07 pm
    28 Doc said:

    But I must say, who doesn’t think of Kyle when in the Food Lion checkout line?

    I mean… it’s just so obvious.

    Reply
  29. 14 Apr 2009 at 3:11 pm
    29 Floozy said:

    bi-polar bears?

    Reply
  30. 14 Apr 2009 at 3:28 pm
    30 UVA non-douche said:

    Did anyone suggest it’s bearcat? Don’t do it kyle, she just wants to make you fall in love with her then crush you e-heart

    Reply
  31. 14 Apr 2009 at 4:05 pm
    31 Hawkins said:

    Oh, go out for a drink with her. It might be fun. She sounds interesting.

    As Mussolini used to say: viva pericolosamente!

    Reply
  32. 14 Apr 2009 at 4:24 pm
    32 bearcat said:

    @32 Dude…not me!

    Reply
  33. 15 Apr 2009 at 5:04 pm
    33 TRAIN said:

    Dude, no worries… someone messes with you… I will tomahawk them…. haha…

    Reply
  34. 16 Apr 2009 at 2:00 am
    34 chillao said:

    hahah I think it’s cute, you should go – would probably be fun, or at least a good story.

    Reply
  35. 16 Apr 2009 at 11:34 am
    35 oy said:

    I agree. If it’s not someone (Parlie!) pulling your chain, it’s pretty cute.

    /needs a cyberstalker or two…

    Reply
  36. 16 Apr 2009 at 3:46 pm
    36 enrique said:

    call her and hit it. hit it hard.

    Reply
  37. 16 Apr 2009 at 3:55 pm
    37 Doc said:

    Confirmed: enrique is the X-balmer.

    Reply
  38. 16 Apr 2009 at 4:14 pm
    38 dieter said:

    Well Doc they already know who the cvillain is, they just won’t tell us- selfish bastards

    Reply
  39. 16 Apr 2009 at 4:25 pm
    39 Doc said:

    @41: Must I add a joke tag?

    Reply
  40. 16 Apr 2009 at 4:36 pm
    40 dieter said:

    Oh pleeease do, that would be super terrific

    Reply
  41. 16 Apr 2009 at 4:37 pm
    41 Doc said:

    What?!?!? rabble, rabble, rabble

    ;-)

    Reply
  42. 28 Apr 2009 at 8:04 pm
    42 anonluvbug said:

    oh dear…

    Reply

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