We have a hamster called Richard that just has to be sneaking anabolic steroids in from somewhere because that fluffy little bastard just will not stop growing. The other evening, I watched him running on his little wheel, and his nose was literally up his own ass so I decided he needed a new crib. I headed off to Pet Forum in Seminole Square (think Marshalls, Big Lots and Office Depot) on a mission to find an overpriced piece of fucking plastic junk, and that’s when I saw it. Big, white and flapping around in the wind (no Shen, not my arse) the sign on 29S said, “GRAND OPENING Asian Fusion Buffet Sushi and Grill”. It was right beside the pet shop. It was lunchtime. It was new. I needed a pee, so the decision was made. As I walked up, several cops came out. My four-year-old shrieked at a decibel rating that has to be illegal, ” OH NO…IT’S THE COPS”. They smiled indulgently at her as she made a crucifix with her index fingers and brandished it at them so thanks baby Daddy for that little parlor trick.
I had no idea what this place had to offer, but the cops had seemed happy enough, so in we went. A lot of money has gone into this joint, and there is a very intricate marble medallion in the floor of the entryway and some pimped out door handles…. so now I was getting excited. Next came the requisite Feng Shui water feature (malfunctioning) and a gaggle of demure hostesses. My nose twitched at a familiar smell and my heart sank. Had I closed my eyes, I could have been in East Garden or China King or the now defunct Great Wall that used to be at the other end of this strip. It was too late. I couldn’t just walk out, and I really did need a pee so I decided to suck it up and hit the familiar trough… this place is basically the Golden Triangle Corral.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know that these Chinese buffets are popular, it’s just that THEY ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME!! I will put $100 on the table, and if anyone can taste General Tso’s Chicken or Chicken with Bloody Broccoli and tell me which one of the aforementioned establishments it came from, then you can take my money. These places are like McDonalds… a Big Mac in Sacramento tastes the same as one in Green Bay. They use identical ingredients and recipes, in fact I wonder if Sysco actually delivers this stuff premade and it just gets heated up. I would love to know.
Now I am no expert, but authentic regional Chinese cuisine revolves around ginger, scallions, garlic, rice wine, water chestnuts, soy sauce, oyster sauce and sesame oil. It doesn’t matter whether it is Hunan, Szechuan or Cantonese… these regions all produce fresh, light simple dishes; the antithesis of what is on offer at these buffets. Several recipe books by Kenneth Lo and Ken Hom are on my bookshelf and nowhere in any of them is there a single recipe that involves a bright orangy-red sugary sickly sauce that they spice up or down depending on whether they label it as General Tso Chicken/Sesame Chicken/Rose Chicken/Any Other Fucking Chicken.
The sushi bar is about the only saving grace in this place. The sushi chef is young and adorable and asked me if I had any special requests and he would make them on the spot. He didn’t speak good English so I told him my special request was to take him to a nearby motel and cover him in chocolate syrup and I received something called a Futo Maki. Which was fair enough. The pre-made sushi was really fresh and I would say way above average compared to East Garden and China King. He uses a lot of avocado and had rainbow roll ready-made and it was excellent. I would go back for just the sushi… oh and to take a second crack at the chef of course.
The lunch buffet is $7.25/ kids $4.25 but goes up to $8.25 on a Saturday. The dinner buffet is $10.25 /kids $5.25 and All Day Sunday Dinner Buffet $10.25.
Carry -out is $3.95 per pound for buffet and carryout sushi is 50c per piece, rolls 60c.
175 Seminole Ct
Hours are Mon -Thurs 11-10, Fri-Sat 11-11 and Sun 11-10 tel 973 8988
They claim no MSG and beer/wine are available.
[pic from jaseman]
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Awesome. Too bad the Chinese part of it is so mediocre. A new Chinese place opened up here by work and I went hoping it would be more authentic and not just the usual typical crap, but no luck.
You wouldn’t know good asian food if you were in the heart of China Town!
Asian Fusion is one of the better ones to arrive in Charlottesville.It is not the same as the rest! It has a good line of different dishes and each one is of good quality! The price is reasonable. You belong at McDonald’s.
i couldn’t find an English-to-Gaelic translator, but here’s English (somewhat)-to-Chinese-to-British-English:
‘Nuf said?
Jaysus otter have you cracked that absinthe open already?
“I face the love forum in the woods dense lake person square ”
is so lovely, serene, poetic, inscrutably-asian… we’re trying to capture the spirit-of-the-thing, Floozy.
and yes, i have cracked it open.
and it’s so lovely, serene, poetic and inscrutably fin-de-siecle francais…
I would like to nominate “does not have Shen, my buttocks” as a new catchphrase.
Since the sushi seems to be the only saving grace of the place, is it very expensive? Finding good sushi at a reasonable price is difficult, so if this place can offer that, it’s worth it.
Went there today at lunch. The sushi bar was well stocked, varied, and much tastier than East Garden’s. The service gets a rating of geisha.
You used [ and ] instead of ( and )
The sushi is not more if you are eating in… they just price it differently for carry-out because I imagine a pound of sushi is a hell of a lot so they give you a separate box. A box at Harris Teeter/Giant is $5-$6 for 12 small pieces so I don’t think $7.25 is unreasonable for unlimited scoffing.
She made a crucifix with her index fingers and brandished it at them?
Smart kid! You taught her well!
food networked debunked this whole “msg makes you ill” thing. it just makes food taste better, so maybe that’s their problem.
let’s hear it for umami
I vote that y’all stop grousing about new, also-ran Chinese food — get with the program… go to Asia Specialty.
Do it!
Yo…at 1…didn’t you say to stop saying how yummy or not yummy things were in this town and that was the new/old CVillian agenda. I fucked the chef. How’s that. It was less fusion w/ a reduction sauce to die for. SOF a bitch.
Just sayin. 734 days and counting. Cranky new age Druid. Another great band name.
Come again?
i was invited there for dinner a few nights ago. arrived ten minutes early. sat across the parking lot from it, on the curb, for an hour and fifteen minutes playing zither (i had one in my trunk) and watching people. My dinner company never arrived, nor called.
HOWEVER, I counted 43 persons leaving the restaurant during the time I was there. Approx 27 of them were of Asian descent. The rest were families of varying socio-economic categories. I’d say 70% of those exiting appeared full and happy. I overheard no negative comments about the food or service. One very heavy local-type left pattng his belly and scruffling his kid’s hair while laughing to his wife (during the belly rub-n-pat).
THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do an unbiased remote-viewing covert-surveillance restaurant review.
Because nothing says “covert” like playing a zither.
don’t forget that The Third Man Theme, in the film The Third Man, was played on the zithera… then again, the secret-spry-operatives weren’t actually PLAYING one while they were double-crossing each other and running from capture/detection. You may have a point.
Don’t you hate it when the escort doesn’t show up. Damn hookers.
I KNOW !!!! What the hell.
Last time I pay double, out of gratiitude, in advance, by mail, in cash.
Because nothings says “unabashedly strange” like a man playing a zither in his car across from an Asian restaurant while watching strangers exit said restaurant.
/actually, this may have been a dream.
//nevermind, warm thoughts, as always.
it would have been worse if i’d waited for my company inside the restaurant, in a booth, playing the damn thing. Though i might have got free egg-drop soup or something.
I whole-heartedly disagree; it would’ve been entertaining, I’m sure. Why watch from the outside when you can watch from the inside?
/just creeped myself out.