Free For All XXXVI: The last days of Pompeii

Posted by Thor on July 7th, 2009 112 Comments

*tear*

Related posts:

  1. FFA – XXXVI: Get In Here
  2. So that’s what they’re calling it these days?
  3. Fourteen Days To A Whiter Smile

112 Responses to “Free For All XXXVI: The last days of Pompeii”

  1. 07 Jul 2009 at 10:37 am
    1 echo said:

    Pompeii didn’t see it coming.

    Reply
    1. 07 Jul 2009 at 10:43 am
      2 Floozy said:

      Neither did the blind prostitute.

      Reply
  2. 07 Jul 2009 at 10:49 am
    3 dieter said:

    Buck up Thor, big gods don’t cry

    Reply
  3. 07 Jul 2009 at 11:03 am
    4 belmont yo said:

    Im starting a new fatness center. Its called CrossFat, which will consist of sitting in a cozy chair and doing alternating reps of hard liquor drinking and cheese eating. Most fatness centers fail because they repeat the same brands of cheese and liquor. By alternating liquor and cheese types, CrossFat ensures the type of slothfull morbidity that will make you the envy of your peers. Anyway, Im looking for a slogan I can put on a tshirt. Ideas so far include:

    Crossfat: Why sit around the house when you can sit **around** the house.
    Crossfat: Jump in the air and get stuck.
    Crossfat: The back of your neck will look like a pack of hotdogs, or your money back!

    You guys got any others. Free slab o’ smoked gouda shoveled into your gaping, mewling maw if we use yours….

    Reply
    1. 07 Jul 2009 at 12:06 pm
      5 Doc said:

      Now, does it have to be hard liquor? Is there a beer option for members?

      Reply
      1. 07 Jul 2009 at 1:34 pm
        6 belmont yo said:

        Beer is for maintenance mini work outs at home. Im afraid for the padded room official workouts, it has to be hard liquor. Further, your question leads me to doubt your commitment to CrossFat, and to the ovate, curdled physique of your dreams.

        Doc. You have to want it. Now man up and take this shot with me…

        /CrossFat: Where “body jam” workouts have a whole ‘nother meaning.

        Reply
        1. 07 Jul 2009 at 1:45 pm
          7 Floozy said:

          I’m opening a competing gym to your competing gym. I’m starting CrassFat, and t-shirt slogans may be mailed directly to me but must be written on the foreheads of dead midgets.

          Reply
          1. 07 Jul 2009 at 3:18 pm
            8 Marshall said:

            “CrassFat: Adipose Tissue Is The New Punk Rock”

            Reply
          1. 07 Jul 2009 at 4:47 pm
            10 Doc said:

            *bows*

            Reply
          2. 08 Jul 2009 at 3:17 pm
            11 Kyle said:

            oh man, that is too funny!

            Reply
            1. 08 Jul 2009 at 4:19 pm
              12 belmont yo said:

              Funny, you dont look nigerian… princely, of course, but not nigerian.

              Reply
    2. 07 Jul 2009 at 12:27 pm
      13 Doc said:

      Shouldn’t that read, “Nom, u r lazy”?

      Reply
    3. 07 Jul 2009 at 12:31 pm
      14 oniss said:

      Not the cozy chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Reply
  4. 08 Jul 2009 at 7:06 am
    15 Firecrotch 2.0 said:

    Anyway, Im looking for a slogan I can put on a tshirt.

    Liquor in the front,
    Poker in the Crossfat?

    ew. nevermind.

    Reply
  5. 08 Jul 2009 at 8:09 am
    16 ditto said:

    Byo- you are hilarious! I’m gonna miss you!!!…along with this crazy site!

    Reply
  6. 08 Jul 2009 at 11:53 am
    17 otterdung said:

    is Stanley coming?

    /in the pokey!

    Reply
    1. 08 Jul 2009 at 12:10 pm
      18 Floozy said:

      wasn’t me.

      Reply
      1. 08 Jul 2009 at 1:13 pm
        19 dieter said:

        I’m not going unless Floozy is there any way

        Reply
        1. 08 Jul 2009 at 10:05 pm
          20 dieter said:

          Perhaps, but I’ve got to get that image of the damn zombie hamster out of my head when I think of that profane irish, ginger hating, soul of wit. (no, I don’t mean the hamster)

          Reply
          1. 08 Jul 2009 at 10:46 pm
            21 otterdung said:

            and how will i know which is the real kyle, having gazed in awe at YOUR crossfit gravatar lo! these many moons?

            Reply
  7. 08 Jul 2009 at 12:18 pm
    22 otterdung said:

    Thor— have you collected e-mail addresses from the core 100 or so contributors for post-shutdown updates?

    Reply
  8. 08 Jul 2009 at 12:39 pm
    23 Street said:

    Hoisted by my own gravatar, natch.

    Could someone turn down the sun a little? I have to work downtown @ 3.

    Reply
  9. 08 Jul 2009 at 12:51 pm
    24 otterdung said:

    who… IS… echo?

    Reply
    1. 08 Jul 2009 at 1:36 pm
      25 echo said:

      No one knows.

      Reply
  10. 08 Jul 2009 at 3:18 pm
    26 Kyle said:

    Wait, what?

    Reply
  11. 08 Jul 2009 at 4:10 pm
    27 Spunktastic said:

    It’s okay…Kyle knows! We can advertise now :)

    Reply
  12. 08 Jul 2009 at 6:32 pm
    28 Street said:

    I love my 2nd job!!!!

    After 3 hours of removing rootkits, hidden registry entries, trojans, boot fuckers & and other pains in the ass, I have yet another satisfied customer, and 6 free beers down my gullet to boot.

    Now I get to help a friend move, and drink some whiskey after we’re done. :D

    Yay!

    Reply
    1. 09 Jul 2009 at 3:48 pm
      29 Street said:

      Of course!

      I have real reason to celebrate! I just found out that my father’s prostate cancer is in full remission!!! It’s been hell the last few months, waiting for the treatment to end, and then waiting for the results.

      Gawd, I am so fucking relieved that he’s alright.

      Reply
      1. 09 Jul 2009 at 3:51 pm
        30 Floozy said:

        That’s great news Street. Go get shit-faced drunk…that is a direct order.

        Reply
        1. 09 Jul 2009 at 3:54 pm
          31 Street said:

          *salutes*

          Yes’m. On my way.

          Any suggestions on what I should pour down my gullet?

          Reply
  13. 09 Jul 2009 at 4:06 pm
    32 Street said:

    …googling…

    Edward Fortyhands is a drinking game in which each player duct tapes a 40-ounce to each of his or her hands and may not remove them until they’re consumed.

    :shock:

    Reply
    1. 09 Jul 2009 at 4:07 pm
      33 Doc said:

      Notsomuch a drinking “game”.

      Reply
  14. 09 Jul 2009 at 4:10 pm
    34 Street said:

    Sounds like a rite of passage that must be performed before one is allowed in Hobopolis.

    Reply
    1. 09 Jul 2009 at 5:36 pm
      35 Street said:

      my cup spilleth over.

      Reply
  15. 09 Jul 2009 at 10:24 pm
    36 Street said:

    i so dunky!!

    ahhahaaa! typoos.

    nitty nite

    Reply
  16. 10 Jul 2009 at 3:51 pm
    37 Street said:

    man….I just reflected on my Villainous history. I came here a homeless, drunken fuck-up, looking for friendship and camaraderie. Now I have many friends, work one job, and am starting my own tech business. So now I’m a working drunken fuck-up. My how times change, eh? :P

    Reply
  17. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:12 pm
    38 Street said:

    I’ve had a roof for a few months, sweetie. In other other news, I’ve decided to extend my drunken celebration of my father’s relative clean bill of health for the entire weekend. If you want to help me celebrate, meet me at my favorite watering hole. I’ll be in the front window.

    Reply
    1. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:25 pm
      39 Street said:

      suh-weet! See you there. :)

      Reply
  18. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:25 pm
    40 Street said:

    Perhaps I should clarify. When I say “you”, I mean anyone who knows which watering hole is my favorite.

    Reply
    1. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:36 pm
      41 rhymes with orange said:

      Siips

      Reply
      1. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:37 pm
        42 Street said:

        ew. No!

        I’m an old-school kind of guy.

        Reply
        1. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:45 pm
          43 rhymes with orange said:

          thats as old school as old school gets

          Reply
          1. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:50 pm
            44 Street said:

            hahahaha! You’re funny. I like you. Be afraid.

            Reply
    2. 10 Jul 2009 at 4:50 pm
      45 Street said:

      Shen! :P

      Reply
  19. 10 Jul 2009 at 5:37 pm
    46 Street said:

    Okay. Invited to a party.

    See you all monday.

    Reply
  20. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:01 am
    47 uva non-douche said:

    Man, did anyone else’s car’s window get bashed out last night? I was parket on Garret near ACAC and mine and a bunch of other car’s passenger side windows got knocked out. Fucking assholes. At least nothing was stolen.

    Reply
    1. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:26 am
      48 uva non-douche said:

      yeah i know…didn’t it happen to you a couple of weeks ago?

      Reply
    2. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:31 am
      49 Heart Above the 45th said:

      Driving home early from work yesterday, there were a couple guys on the mobile, presumably with the police, standing next to a car with a busted out back window down on JPA and Washington Ave.

      Reply
  21. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:04 am
    50 otterdung said:

    tech query–anyone figured out how to run Flash so you can see YouTube etc. on a 64-bit IE? workaround?

    Reply
    1. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:16 am
      51 Heart Above the 45th said:

      Try using a 34-bit browser. As far as I know, there is no workaround. Flash isn’t supported in 64 bit browsers. At least not yet.

      Reply
  22. 13 Jul 2009 at 2:18 pm
    52 otterdung said:

    clad servers in lingerie? what’s a ‘clad’—can you get that with a cocktail umbrella and tiki-mug?

    Reply
  23. 13 Jul 2009 at 11:36 pm
    53 orchid said:

    hey shenan, fwiw, boar’s head added 2 vegetarian entrees to its restaurant week menu–some pasta thing & salmon, both of which are off the regular menu. guess the hookers are just really slacking on their website.

    http://www.boarsheadinn.com/Dining/Dining.asp

    Reply
    1. 14 Jul 2009 at 11:30 am
      54 orchid said:

      we had the lasagna & soup & 2 meat dishes & both desserts & were super-impressed.

      Reply
  25. 14 Jul 2009 at 8:55 am
    56 rhymes with orange said:

    “Natalie Portman is slated to star in the latest Marvel comic book adaptation “Thor.”

    The 28-year-old Portman has been cast as Jane Foster, who was a nurse and first love of the title character in the Marvel Comics. According to Marvel Studios, the character is being updated for the movie version of “Thor,” in which the Norse warrior is cast down to Earth to live among humans.

    The film is slated for a May 2011 release and will be directed by Kenneth Branagh.”

    Reply
  26. 14 Jul 2009 at 11:07 am
    57 rhymes with orange said:

    any chance this site will be updated before the 31st?

    Reply
    1. 14 Jul 2009 at 11:41 am
      58 Doc said:

      You could always write something yourself to be posted…
      If there’s nothing to post, there’s nothing to post.

      Reply
      1. 14 Jul 2009 at 11:45 am
        59 rhymes with orange said:

        I submitted a Weekend Preview item last week and it did not make it up.

        Reply
        1. 14 Jul 2009 at 11:52 am
          60 Doc said:

          Then Thor is officially a faildog and they should shutter his blog.

          /ohwait

          Reply
  27. 15 Jul 2009 at 11:12 am
    61 Doc said:

    SHEN!!!!

    Reply
    1. 15 Jul 2009 at 11:18 am
      62 Doc said:

      Although the names in that article sound like the lineup of a NASCAR race:

      Jimmy Fink
      Jeff Bodine
      Dick Prins

      Reply
  28. 15 Jul 2009 at 12:13 pm
    63 dieter said:

    Billy Mays fans rejoice! http://lizlukens.deviantart.com/art/Billy-Mays-CubeeCraft-Template-116907118

    Reply
  29. 15 Jul 2009 at 12:36 pm
    64 Street said:

    *sniff*

    This is beautiful. Especially around 1:12.

    Reply
  30. 15 Jul 2009 at 1:33 pm
    65 echo said:

    This is pretty awesome too.

    Reply
    1. 15 Jul 2009 at 1:47 pm
      66 Doc said:

      I like these two comments to that:

      farlok72 (22 hours ago): so the guy just bailed on his wife and kid…?
      stacyreeves (20 hours ago): That’s what I thought too.. Looks like he went gay for a little bit then spent the rest of his life old and alone. Not a very nice story.

      Hahaha.

      Reply
    2. 15 Jul 2009 at 2:33 pm
      67 Street said:

      That was sweet, echo! I love stop-motion!

      Reply
      1. 15 Jul 2009 at 6:22 pm
        68 Street said:

        Agreed. A good friend of mine is opening a new restaurant in the mall vicinity. When I know more, I’ll post about it.

        Reply
  31. 15 Jul 2009 at 10:50 pm
    69 Doc said:

    I’ve never played Rock Band, but I feel just awful for this guy.

    D’oh.

    Reply
  32. 16 Jul 2009 at 2:43 am
    70 belmont yo said:

    Failure.

    Reply
  33. 16 Jul 2009 at 3:30 am
    71 backup planet said:

    my favorite quote this week – first draft of famous movie lines – my name is inugo montoya, you killed my father, I am extremely annoyed and demand an apology.

    Reply
  34. 16 Jul 2009 at 8:09 am
    72 Street said:

    I think I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue.

    Reply
  35. 16 Jul 2009 at 7:19 pm
    73 orchid said:

    anyone know of an august sublet?

    Reply
    1. 19 Jul 2009 at 7:57 pm
      74 otterdung said:

      what space & other requirements? just for aug?

      Reply
      1. 20 Jul 2009 at 9:01 am
        75 orchid said:

        yes, but i found sthg, thx

        Reply
        1. 20 Jul 2009 at 1:25 pm
          76 otterdung said:

          no sweat. this place is rough anyhow, but pretty… just a bailout strategy if necessary.

          Reply
  36. 17 Jul 2009 at 12:19 pm
    77 belmont yo said:

    pain.

    Reply
  37. 18 Jul 2009 at 8:26 pm
    78 Street said:

    This just put a smile on my face.

    Reply
  38. 19 Jul 2009 at 2:05 pm
    79 Heart Above the 45th said:

    Third picture down… What sandwich shop is this?

    Reply
    1. 19 Jul 2009 at 2:12 pm
      80 Heart Above the 45th said:

      Which sandwich shop, even…

      Reply
      1. 20 Jul 2009 at 9:09 am
        81 rhymes with orange said:

        Take it Away for sure

        Reply
        1. 21 Jul 2009 at 7:09 pm
          82 Heart Above the 45th said:

          Is it good? A coworker goes there sometimes…

          Reply
          1. 21 Jul 2009 at 10:10 pm
            83 rhymes with orange said:

            I like it and would recommend it. It’s usually packed and chaotic inside, but the sandwich is made on good bread and the house-dressing (a cross between mayo, grainy mustard, and some other mystery items) is a must. My only problem for me is that they don’t have already decided sandwich arrangements on their menu; it’s just turkey, roast beef, chicken, etc. You have to come up with the combination. This is where I freeze up. I’m not a good sandwich orderer. The last time I was there I got the daily special (a sandwich that already had the meat and fixin’s created up for you) and that was a good choice for me. After listening to other people order, I got some good ideas for next time. It’s definitely worth a shot. I prefer it to Bagby’s, which is just too homemade tasting for me.

            Reply
  39. 19 Jul 2009 at 4:52 pm
    84 belmont yo said:

    kidney is exploding. 4th day. do i go to th emergency room or try to make it til tommorrow to doctor. pros? cons? advice?

    Reply
    1. 19 Jul 2009 at 6:37 pm
      85 Hep said:

      water, lots of water

      Reply
      1. 19 Jul 2009 at 8:02 pm
        86 otterdung said:

        Call your doctor and talk to the emergency Medico-On-Call for the office. They have to cover their asses, so they’ll be a little insistent at first that you go straight to ER, but if you push him a bit and whine about high ER costs she or he will probably be straight with you (about possible diagnoses/risks of waiting) after a few minutes. Tell her/him you’ve seen every episode of HOUSE, MD so s/he better not try to pull the wool over YOUR eyes.

        /had good luck with this method very recently when had minor heart-attack.

        Reply
  40. 20 Jul 2009 at 3:44 pm
    87 Doc said:

    Making its rounds, so why not link here as well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN75im_us4k

    Reply
    1. 20 Jul 2009 at 5:48 pm
      88 Street said:

      Because it’s an evil evil thing to subject us to?

      Reply
      1. 20 Jul 2009 at 6:05 pm
        89 Doc said:

        “I didn’t spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called ‘mister,’ thank you very much.”

        Reply
        1. 21 Jul 2009 at 1:38 pm
          90 otterdung said:

          Doc, this below is the final word on THAT.
          I have this on my IPOD and get goosebumps when it pops up on shuffle:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqeC3BPYTmE

          Reply
  41. 22 Jul 2009 at 8:47 am
    91 rhymes with orange said:

    only 9 days left and I still don’t know how to do fancy links, bump-out quotes, or use “magic” (shen’s words) to uncover idenitities

    Reply
    1. 22 Jul 2009 at 9:31 pm
      92 otterdung said:

      damnedest thing—i was away all day and when i got back i’d been auto-logged-out. when i went to log back in, i had COUGH’s screen name and personal e-mail in my log-in fields.

      Reply
  42. 22 Jul 2009 at 3:59 pm
    93 Street said:

    O hai.

    Is it can be drinx tiem now plees?

    Reply
  43. 23 Jul 2009 at 9:50 am
    94 Doc said:

    Topic for discussion… is CrossFit a cult? I took a peek over at the Wikipedia page for CrossFit… there’s some interesting stuff in the “Criticism” section.

    /just sayin’

    Reply
    1. 23 Jul 2009 at 10:41 am
      95 rhymes with orange said:

      I’m Linda Richman and welcome to Coffee Talk. I’m hoping Kyle doesn’t develop shpilkis in his genechtagazoink after starting CrossFit. Oh, I’m a little verklempt at the idea! Talk amongst yourselves. Here’s a topic: The Thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master. Discuss.

      Reply
  44. 23 Jul 2009 at 11:36 am
    96 otterdung said:

    i walked alone around one a.m. into a certain bar last night and yelled ‘i’m CROSSFIT you slackass muthas!! Anyone want to tangle!!’ thinking it would help kyle after i thrashed a few of the frat-jock meatheads there then explained to them in detail with illustrations and charts just WHY i kicked therir overmuscle steroid loser heads in. they just all sat there and shut the fuck up. later, someone very meekly sent me a cocktail, which I sent back requesting instead paleo springwater. i’m all about gureilla marketing, ask anyone.

    /crossfit as christ.

    Reply
  45. 23 Jul 2009 at 12:06 pm
    97 Thurston said:

    Hey otter, what the heck are you doing in a bar at 1 am on a wed night? just asking….

    Reply
    1. 23 Jul 2009 at 3:02 pm
      98 happy happy hippo said:

      shhh you will only encourage that kind of dung that makes the term “bat-shit crazy” now seem normal.
      Of course he is just deeply, DEEPLY misunderstood.

      Reply
      1. 23 Jul 2009 at 11:22 pm
        99 otterdung said:

        i’ve been growling a lot more, to myself and to others, since i went PALEO.

        welcome happy-happy-hippo!!! nice to have another fan here! are you new to the site?

        this is for you:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqmCPDqqNg8

        Reply
  46. 23 Jul 2009 at 2:23 pm
    100 Street said:

    Question of the day:

    Why walk when you can stagger?

    Reply
  47. 23 Jul 2009 at 11:31 pm
    101 otterdung said:

    dammit when is damn adobe gonna get the damn flash fixed so the damn youtube vids will play in the damn 64-bit IE or Firefox.

    in-fur-i-ating.

    Reply
    1. 24 Jul 2009 at 12:08 am
      102 otterdung said:

      street—are you still doing compu-consulting for cash?
      wanna come unfuck my 64-bit-in-vista to 32-bit-in-vista so i can watch youtube again?

      in-fucking-furiating.

      Reply
      1. 24 Jul 2009 at 7:21 pm
        103 Street said:

        Yes I am! What’s preventing you from viewing you tube?

        Reply
        1. 25 Jul 2009 at 4:25 am
          104 otterdung said:

          STREET—i have vista and 64-bit browser (IE). adobe hasn’t done a flash-update for 64-bit. i try running the 32-bit browser, but it won’t connect to the web at all. tried all manner of screw-arounds, also tried firefox. still no youtube and still no sites requiring flash. googled and tried a dozen fixes all useless…

          i’m a little on the low-dollar side, but if you wanted to do a consult for cash, otterdung at gmail dot com

          Reply
          1. 25 Jul 2009 at 7:07 am
            105 Street said:

            Not to worry. I don’t charge yer typical techie wages. I think it’s ridiculous how much some folks charge. 50-150 an hour? aaaahahahahahahaaaa :lol: I’m the poor man’s computer fixerupper. I’ll have you viewing those tubular vids this afternoon. But right now, I have a huge event to prepare for. An event to which I must prepare.

            /kicks the grammar gnome

            Reply
  48. 23 Jul 2009 at 11:46 pm
    106 Taliesin said:

    As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her and she’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead.

    Reply
  49. 24 Jul 2009 at 9:50 am
    107 colfer said:

    Nope and I was at Bodo’s that very day!

    Reply
  50. 24 Jul 2009 at 10:45 am
    108 otterdung said:

    leaving Christians? Goddam those people are obsessed with their God, guns, and cetera.

    Surprised the stupid-stupid-stupid Corner cops didn’t shake them down.

    Reply
  51. 24 Jul 2009 at 1:39 pm
    109 orchid said:

    monticello, crab cakes at the virginian, & arch’s.

    Reply
  52. 25 Jul 2009 at 4:22 am
    110 otterdung said:

    We have a slight problem at The Batesville Store and are hoping that our fine and loyal friends will help us out.

    The beer dude mistakenly showed up this morning with a keg of “The Love,” Starr Hill’s summer brew, and he left before we could tell him to take it away. We’re now stuck with it. So this weekend we have no option except to sell it for three bucks a cup. Please consider assisting us in getting rid of this unwanted item.

    To thank you for your sacrifice, we are selling our pizza by the slice for 50 cents off and whole pizzas for two dollars off.

    What would we do without our friends?

    Reply
  53. 26 Jul 2009 at 8:38 am
    111 Street said:

    I created a Facebook account last night. Does that mean I’m a whore?

    Reply
    1. 26 Jul 2009 at 12:46 pm
      112 Street said:

      w00ticakes!

      It’s preemptively filling the gap that the absence of cVillain will leave.

      Reply

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