An out of town guest provides the perfect opportunity to play tour guide, and this past weekend I had just such an opportunity. I tried to give my visitor a complete view of our delightful little ville: The University Grounds and the Corner full of douche-bags reeking of vinegar like a fine North Carolina barbecue sauce; the Downtown Mall with its seemingly endless offerings of dining and drinking establishments; Belmont bursting with a quaint cast of PBR drinking hipsters, rednecks, and the pleasant fragrance of Hogwaller; and the outlying county ready to be ravaged by SUV’s and bonfires.
My weekend as tour guide started on Saturday with a trip to Carter Mountain Orchard for the Apple Harvest Festival. As I waded through the sea of school children either stuffing their faces with apple cider doughnuts or wailing like a choir of sirens and banshees, I was surprised to see a wine tasting bar. Upon further investigation my surprise turned to dread much like having a girlfriend show up unexpectedly on a Wednesday night only to have her tell you that her Aunt Flo hasn’t been by to visit in a couple months. The wines being sampled were all from Prince Michel Vineyards. Being the humble public servant that I am, I tried all the wines being poured despite my better judgement. The whites were mostly over acidic with strong scents of yeast and green vegetables similar to the aromatic qualities you might expect from the fitted sheets of a lonely, unhygienic high school girl. The flabby reds devoid of any semblance of structure weren’t much better.
On Sunday I ventured forth to Monticello, home of Thomas Jefferson, to share some of our area’s rich history. Where, according to the new children’s museum, I learned that Mr. Jefferson was a fan of vanilla ice cream. (Funny, all these years I thought he preferred the swirl.) After the educational interlude I decided to check out a couple of the near by vineyards.
Jefferson Vineyards was the first of two I tasted at that day. I found the wines to be very drinkable, and the five dollar tasting fee isn’t exorbitant considering you get to keep the souvenir glass which is great for an impromptu Jewish wedding. Overall the whites provided slightly more enjoyment than the reds. I purchased two bottles to drink on the patio: the ‘08 Viognier with rich stone fruit flavors and an austere minerality for $24.95 and the ‘07 Cabernet Franc a light bodied red with mixed berries on the palate and baking spices on the nose for $18.95.
Next I galloped off towards horse country to visit Keswick Vineyards. Here the reds were the star of the show. The ‘07 Cabernet Sauvignon with its strong tannic structure and black cherry flavors won the 2009 Governor’s Cup, but the $59.95 per bottle cost was more than I was willing to pay. Instead I bought a bottle of the ’08 Touriga for $19.95. Touriga is usually used in making Port but here it is blended with Chambourcin to make a non fortified medium bodied wine full of strawberry flavor and subtle smoky undertones. The whites were classic examples of how not to use oak and malolactic fermentation, but if you like movie theater pop corn they might be right up your alley. Seriously, Land O’ Lakes has less butter than some of Keswick’s white wines.
All in all it wasn’t a bad weekend to be a wine drinker.
Coming Soon: Some of my favorite Charlottesville resturaunt wine lists and the Garlic Festival, where I hear that I am more likely to find a vampire than a quality bottle of wine.
Related posts:
- Woodstock For Wines
- Wine Tasting Weekends
- Charlottesville Food and Wine Festival: International Food and Wine Experience!
“The whites were mostly over acidic with strong scents of yeast and green vegetables similar to the aromatic qualities you might expect from the fitted sheets of a lonely, unhygienic high school girl. The flabby reds devoid of any semblance of structure weren’t much better.”
I just vomited in my mouth a little.
I think you managed to offend just about every reader. Congrats!
um, i’m not offended, nor could i see how anyone could be offended, except for that idiot who so stridently defended prince michel’s wines a couple of months ago. btw, the carter mt tasting room is where the chick poured me “cabernet sauvignon france.”
Wowsers. That sounds like quite the whine tour. Perhaps a cheese tour is in order.
Seriously? It really sounds like you hate Cville and women. I have to wonder if you could write anything without overtly misogynistic metaphors.
Trashing women and the jews, nice work. This website was better off dead. Like Michael Jordan coming back to tarnish his legacy.
Don’t forget about the terrible similes, metaphors, and spelling!
douche-bags, Aunt Flo, and lonely, unhygienic high school girl?! Calling Dr Freud to the thread!
You should change your name to Epic Fail and never ever write a review of wine that includes such distasteful misogynistic references . Why the hell you even tasting Prince Michel- that’s not that close to here and no one who cares about local wine drinks it.
For all here who love wine and food, please stop reviewing now and never darken this thread again.
If the real Thor was still running the show he would have crushed you with his mighty hammer and let your juices just run into the gutter. The tears from joy from the rest of us would wash away all else that remained of you.
orchid liked it
bahahaha
if it comes to either liking it or being cunty like shenanigans, i’ll go with liking it.
Can’t you just feel the love?
shhh.. I want to see where this goes.
I was afraid something happened! I hadn’t seen you in a few days.
Nothing says cunty like using words like cunty. ha
that would have been a great adjective Epic should have used to describe wine
/breathy with hints of…(shut yo mouth!)
//or bounty <–just confused meself
Please remember:
more words != more interesting writing
thanks.
Do not confuse logorrhea with rich, creative writing.
“That’s not writing, that’s just typing.”
~Capote
/pile on!
“I could eat a bowl of Alphabits and shit a better piece.”
~Erotic Crab Assassin
/dog pile on the new guy!
Febreze? Chocolate Ice cream? Stale piss? Rancid shrimp? German Shepherd? …. seriously dude, WTF?
haaaahahaha, wow I’m surprised he didn’t go for the cycle and drop a slavery reference in there to describe the Jefferson vineyard wines.
While it does not describe the wines, I think this quote may be the droid you’re looking for, Tinkertoy. If I’m correct, it at least refers to him having children with Sally Hemings.
dammit, caught me. I didn’t really read the article, just skimmed and stopped reading after the second paragraph.
/that’s what I get for having a short atten… oooh shiny!
//shiny shiny
¿ǝsɐǝ1d ¿ooʇ ppɐ ǝʌɐɥ ı uɐɔ
It’s not that the misogynistic references offend me (as a woman). I’m pretty thick-skinned. Larry David managed to make cancer absolutely hilarious on the season opener to Curb Your Enthusiasm. Little offends me. But how do any of these ridiculous descriptions help me better understand what the wines taste like? This piece is for shock value only, and is offensive only insofar as how un-descriptive it is. Why not just write a straightforward review?
Ditto. Your descriptions are colorful but detract from any credibility in wine review.
This post reeks of the pee flap in my Jewish granddad’s boxer shorts after he drank Virginia wine because he was so cheap and also because he blew all his cash rolling around on soiled sheets with a teenage hooker with dysentary.
Best wine review evar!!!
thanks for not going to barboursville, because i shudder to think at your words sullying the greatness that was their barrel tasting. eesh.
Did you just use the words ‘Barboursville’ and ‘greatness’ in the same sentence?
Sounds like somebody took a creative writing class. How cute.