I am wont to take cabs on evenings when I’ve dipped into the wonderous world of spirits. And I highly recommend chatting up your taxi driver. Charlottesville cabbies have some great stories.

One cabbie I talked to told me about cleaning up after a drunk girl did “The Vom” all over the backseat and floor of his pristine ride.

“Really?” I asked. “That’s awful. What did you do?”

“Well,” he replied, “I stopped the cab and kicked her and her friend out. And of course then they had to pay the clean-up fee.”

Yep. Clean-up fee. How much you ask?

According to this cabbie, it was $300 for vomit. (Alas, I didn’t inquire about the going rate for other, um, fluids or solids.) And, even at that price, he said he’d be losing money by spending his Friday night cleaning his cab rather than catching fares.

Word to the wise: don’t vomit in cabs. It’s just rude. And expensive, apparently.

[Note to the reader: All conversations contained herein have been reconstructed according to an admittedly hazy memory. But I’m dang sure about the $300 part. And the part where he kicked the girl out, which is just hilarious.]

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Throughout the history of the internet dot com, internet users have assumed pseudonymous monickers—nicknames that, to varying degrees, conceal the true identities of those who peck away snarkily at their keyboards. It’s basically like a Bruce Wayne/Batman situation, but with fewer explosions and more semicolons.

Consistent with said pseudonymical tradition, it has been suggested that this particular blog website remote internetical outpost might benefit from the mirth and merriment resulting from an intentional shifting of these nicknames. That is, people want to see what would happen if everyone switched pseuds. »Read More

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The smart money says the key to quick fame on-camera is to upload a video of yourself doing something incredibly stupid/daring/hillariuos/disgusting to youtube and then sit back and let the digg numbers do the work for you.

But if you’re still aiming for more the traditional Hollywood-style fame and notoriety, you’re in luck. Later this month, Red Cloud Productions is filming scenes for MAX VO2: The Potential Inside in and around Lynchburg, Va., and they’re looking for “Hundreds of Background Actors and Extras”.

Full info at the site linked above, but the two big scenes are for a bike race: »Read More

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 You are all terrible people, and you ruin the blog with your incessant blathering.

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Just kidding! Blather away right here in the Free For All.

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While I’m hesitant to make this the forum of lost pets, we did have some success last time getting a photo out early and often, so it’s worth a shot. Veteran commenter indie dork writes in:

Found cat. No tags. Very soft friendly, but hungry (really likes turkey). Downtown near McGuffey Park. It will stay with us tonight, then go to the SPCA tomorrow. If you think it’s yours, email me (cvilleindiedork@gmail.com) and you can claim him? her? sometime Thursday. Despite how it looks in the pics, it isnt mangey, just weird colors.

Let’s give it a shot, folks. More shots after the break.

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The people have demanded it, and I’m nothing if not the People’s Blogger. Here’s your FFA. It’s like a commenting Olympics.

(Oh, and that pic was over here, but I can’t figure out how they got ahold of parlie’s digital camera, nor who that man is lying on top of him. Weird, huh?)

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So the haze hanging over the Michael’s Bistro kerfuffle seems to be lifting. The latest version I’ve heard (from a chorus of little birdies) is that the main owner canned a few people, precipitating a walk-out en masse by the rest of the staff.

Of course, I serve up this gossip with the caveat that hearsay is inevitably fraught with inconsistency, exaggeration, and falsehoods. Which is why it would be almost unconscionable for me to mention that I’ve also heard tell (those birdies, they sure do chirp) of a new partnership between the main Bistro owner and the chef formerly of Bohème notoriety (that there was a spicy comment section, I tell you what). Oh, and it’s with a low signal-to-noise ratio, but I’m also catching word that the other Bistro owner, who had a falling out with the majority owner, is looking to start his own joint.

Shamelessly idle gossip and rumors, no doubt. Feel free to drop your own restaurant earworms in the comments.

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I tend to be skeptical of negative reviews—be they reviews of restaurants, CDs, movies, or whatever. It’s just easier to rant than it is to rave. A good bit of this difficulty lies, I think, in the desire not to sound overly earnest, since praise can certainly quite easily slip into maudlin sap.

And, given the choice between maudlin sap and the vitriol of many a negative review, I’d demure on the choice, preferring instead the subtlety of a brick slamming into my head.

Having said that, bad reviews are inevitable. And ’round these parts, the most frequent species is negative restaurant reviews… »Read More

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The umbrage thread got me thinking. Specifically, about biking in this burg we call the ‘ville.
There was a fair amount of pedestrian-hating in that thread, which is—come on—friggin’ hilarious. “You jerks! With your walking! I’m DRIVING MY STEEL MACHINE HERE! DO YOU NOT SMELL THE DINOSAUR BLOOD COOKING?!?! I MUST GET TO YOGA SOCCER!!!”

Blah. I drive, too. It’s understandable that it can be frustrating. But I also bike a fair bit. And biking in this town (shoot, in any town) is an amusingly hostile experience. I have suggestions. I will get to them. First, a story: »Read More

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It’s like your standard FFA, but if you lick it, it tastes of liberty and fireworks. And beer. Okay, mostly of beer.

Stay classy today, cVillains. And a hearty huzzah to all.

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