What is up with the so-called “International Food and Wine Experience of Charlottesville”? Any little birdies know any details? Is it on, or will it be canceled?  Currently, the site for purchasing ticket says “check back” for ticket information.

The event, a two-day wine festival, competition, seminar, and all-around bacchanalian celebration of oenophilia was originally scheduled for late January of 2009 (if memory serves). It was unexpectedly postponed; rumors in the ether suggested due to poor ticket sales. The site is still up, but no new data has been added about tickets for the rescheduled event. Data appears to be updated for the new Friday-Saturday schedule of events, available here.

The Neoskeptic knows at least one member of the local media has tried to contact them to find out if new details are available for ticket sales, and to confirm that the event is on as scheduled. The office phone for the IFWEOC appears to no longer be in service, and the mobile number for the group’s president plays a canned network recording saying the customer is not available, and offers no voicemail options.

I don’t know how they expect to have an event if they’re not selling tickets three weeks out.

Walking downtown last night with my girlfriend and some out-of-town visitors, your Neoskeptic was shocked and appalled to see some pretty awful hate messages on Our Fair City’s monument to Mr. Jefferson and the Free Speech.

Someone had tried to scribble over the *most offensive part of the offending comments, but it was obvious what it read underneath.

Kids, earmuffs!

It said, “Obama is a n____ kill him ASAP”

Someone had scribbled over the words “n_____ kill”, but I could still read it.

Now, I’m all for free speech, but hate speech and incitement of violence are outside the zone of protected language.  My beef is more with the “kill” sentiment than with the “N-word”, though both are unquestionably disgusting.

Whoever wrote this despicable message – you’re ruining it for everybody.  Fuck you.

My Fellow Cvillains, what do you think would be an appropriate punishment for this asshole, besides hoping that Cheif Longo’s downtown mall security cams caught the motherfucker on tape and the FBI/NSA/Secret Service is renditioning him to Uzbekistan right now?   Put your medieval torture recommendations for the racist wishful-assassin in the comments.

Thursday, January 15, outgoing President George W. Bush gave a farewell speech to the nation during primetime network television.  [God, it feels good to write "outgoing" in front of his name.]  The regularly scheduled programming was delayed by the President’s 15 minute speech on all of the major networks.  After Bush’s revisionist accounting of his tenure as Commander in Cheif, the primetime shows aired  in full.

Or, at least, they should have.  If you were trying to watch The Office in central Virginia, however, somebody in the control room at WVIR-NBC29 seems to have been asleep at the switch, and your television-watching experience got totally fucked with. »Read More

That’s right!  No More Mr. Nice Gay.

DayWithoutaGay.org is campaigning to let straight America know that treating homosexual Americans like second-class citizens is the opposite of fabulous, and I’m calling on all you breeder-type Cvillains to do your part.

DayWithoutaGay has made it their mission to fight injustice by demonstrating with service to the community.

Let’s fight for equality by out-loving those who would deny us rights…by posting and searching volunteer opportunities.  We will offer love and support to those who need it most, the way only the gay community can!

Go to the Virginia volunteer page, and [SHAME!] there are currently no volunteer opportunities posted in the Charlottesville area!  We must do something about this.

“But, I’m not gay,” you say?  »Read More

Here are just a few common words and phrases that men use when talking to their women that, when taken for face value, don’t seem all that deep.  But, with these secrets revealed, men’s cryptic caveman mumblings reveal a world of myopic perversion that should horrify all women, everywhere

Nothing – as in the response to “what are you thinking?” or “how do you feel?” Generally, the “nothing” response is not an indication of lack of thought or feeling, but the reluctance, or in most cases, the inability to express said thoughts or feelings.

Something – as in “do you want to do something?” – when used in private, usually relates to some form of sexual activity. Similar to “do you want to go somewhere?” when used in a public place. Not to be confused with “Is it something I said?” or “Did I do something wrong?” The phrase “Can I get you something?” may refer to anything from an alcoholic drink to that lingerie stashed in the back of your sock drawer.

5 Minutes – The maximum amount of time required for most men to successfully engage in and complete sexual activity. In rare instances, it may not be the time limit for sex and they may participate in sex for a longer period of time, but 5 minutes is all most Men really need. Any man willing to have sex with you for longer than 5 minutes is worth keeping. (2) In context of “I’m going to play this video game” or “I’m going to watch this televised sport” for “5 minutes”, usually means a much much much longer period of time. Don’t hold your breath.

Later – as in “I’ll do it later” or “can we talk about this later?” – literal translation is “never”.

Soon – In response to such questions as “When can I meet your parents?” and “Do you think we’ll ever be ready to live together?” an answer of “Soon” can be interpreted to be the same as an answer of “Later”. (2) In reference to the point of sexual climax, “soon” actually means “I already did.”

Can I help? – You are trying to do something that only a man can do, and therefore I assume you will eventually need my help with it. Please let me do it for you now to save us both the time and trouble of pretending you can do it yourself.

Would you? – As in, “Would you do the dishes/laundry/cleaning?” These are things I am used to having done for me by my mother and/or girlfriends/wives before you. It is expected of you to take care of me since I am just a helpless man-child, and if you really loved me, you would. (2) In context of sexual activity, “Would you [blank]” (fill in the blank with some perverse sexual deed) usually means my ex/that hooker would and if you don’t I’m going to cheat on you with someone who will.

I don’t understand. – as in “I don’t understand why you are crying” or “I don’t understand why you are yelling at me” – literally means “I don’t understand”.

Picture from flickr user ralphbijker.

Inspired by parlie’s curmudgeonly diss on the current iPhone buzz, I decided to compile this list of “things that used to be cool in cville but are no longer because too many people do them.” Please, discuss, argue, and add your own 5 cents in the comments! (Why 5 cents instead of just 2? Because we live in Charlottesville. Even our opinions are overpriced!)

So here’s my take on a bunch of things that matter almost as much as my opinion about them! </toungecheek>

#10. Pretending not to care what people think of you – The only thing less painful than being judged by how you look and what you do is being judged for how you don’t look and what you don’t do. Too many folks wearing Birkenstocks? Get yourself some Crocs. That’ll show ‘em. Is everyone listening to that new band on the radio? Go find some “indy” group to proclaim as your FAVORITE. And OMFG people are getting excited about a new product from a popular electronics company? You better not get sucked in, or it will just look like you’re following the crowd! You don’t want to do stuff that other people do, do you?

It’s just too easy to define people by what they ARE. Let’s go out and start judging everybody for what they AREN’T. »Read More

I know you’re all counting down the minutes till you can stop slacking off at work and start drinking heavily. Kick off Memorial Day Weekend right and indulge in some patriotic LolPresidents.

Bringing it back from ‘07, inspired by this Fark thread.