After a very (seriously) hidden ranking system, it appears that Albemarle County only made it to 13 out of the Top 20 places to live in the USA. The simple truth is that Albemarle County and Charlottesville should always be in the Top 5 places to live, no matter the type of list [insert funny list joke here].

Forbes used a bunch of variables to get to this list, including, but not limited to SAT scores, cost of living, graduation rate, standardized scores, home prices, property tax rate as a percentage of median home price, percentage of homes occupied by owner, per-capita income, crime rate and commute time. We didn’t come out on top and I’m pissed.

Here is my Top 5 List for the reasons Forbes pulled this list out of their arse (translation I am a poor sport when Charlottesville doesn’t win).

1. The ranking system is completely secret.

2. Midwestern places hold the top 5 rankings. What? Who likes corn and meth heads, anyway?

3. The ranking system has very little to do with real life family environments.

4. New Jersey made the list.

5. You can’t pronounce half the winners on the list…Ozaukee, Geauga, Waukesha…? Somebody shoot me.

The full list of Forbes’ Top 20 Best Places to Raise a Family is after the jump…

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