The Newsplex kicked off a series of Valentines Day related ‘exposés’ recently, with the above Cougar Hunter interview.  While we certainly can’t think of why the Martha Jefferson, Locust Grove, or Woolen Mills area would be mentioned, when we all know our 2008 poll indicated that Blue Light Grill is the certified hot spot for prowling.  TownMe.com seems to be the go-to source for the CBS article, however, the site seems to have altered its content away from actually cataloging information, and towards releasing open source wiki-esque software.  Additionally we can’t locate anything in the either the Google Cache or Wayback Machine to fill in the gaps here.

Have any other establishments climbed the ladder since July of ‘08?

Dating sites don’t ask the questions that really matter. Even for “just a date”, there is more vital information that is necessary than “what kind of animals do you like”? Even Dr. Phil has dropped the ball. Dr. Phil is a sponsor of Match.com, and on his show he occasionally refers a set list of questions that couples should ask each other if they’re thinking long-term. But none of those questions are asked on dating site profiles. I think they’re afraid that if they got too real on these sites, no one would date anybody. But at the same time, there’s nothing worse than being in the middle of an awesome second date with someone who, like you, likes gerbils, Kanye West and the color blue, and finding out that he’s been to jail twice for domestic violence. Or worse, in the middle of the first sexual encounter and you find out 1. that she likes to pee on you and 2. that she doesn’t have the home-training to ask first if you like that.

I mean it’s only polite to ask beforehand. Your mama didn’t raise you in a barn, did she? »Read More

Our recent luck with 80 degree weather reminds me that dramatic physiological changes happen to Charlottesville and its residents.  The winter brings about the slow death of the downtown scene.  Patrons leave the mall to hibernate in their homes, avoid the cold and generally be anti-social.  It’s an unconscious decision at best. But then, the trigger event, daylight savings time, hits us all and BOOM.  We turn into ravenous, happy animals.

Patrons return to the mall, girls are more approachable, guys are more successful, girls get what they want. It’s weird, but it’s true.

Season of Fertility

Is there science behind this?  Probably, but it makes sense while the rest of the world is blooming, pollinating, returning to life, growing, coming alive, etc. that humans would do the same.  With daylight returning, humans have more exposure to the sun, which we all know makes us happier.  We produce less melatonin, a hormone that controls circadian rhythms,  when there is more sunlight (i.e. we sleep less). Whether or not we can support it with science it’s true.  Love (or hormones for you pessimists) is in the air.

The Ritual

It’s funny witnessing this transition during this time of year.  Here are some crazy things I’ve witnessed over the years that inevitably happen to my Charlottesville peer group:
»Read More

Shenanigans enlightened us on the perils of pooping at work not too long ago.  The commentary was colorful, but I don’t think anyone touched on the topic of not pooping at all, specifically not pooping at all when you are on a date with a new girl/guy.  We can go back to our whipped cream in bed story and rewind to the point where we left Ventana…

You get back to her place and you just know you will get lucky tonight.  It is a bit awkward though since its your first time alone at her place.  You decide to try and keep things as non chalant as possible and park yourself on the sofa.  Channel flipping through made for TV movies and music videos, you start to listen to the sweet sweet sound of…Franz Ferdinand playing off her iPod.  Not exactly the mood maker, but at least it sets the tempo for the evening.

Slowly but surely things start to get hot and heavy.  Then it hits you.  No, its not the thought that you will soon be ravaging each other off of the IKEA coffee table, its that feeling in your stomach, you know, the “i have to take a shit and or fart excessively RIGHT now” kind of feeling.  There are some feelings that you can block with a cold heart or temporary concentration, but this feeling is not one of those.  She starts getting all feisty and you move around on the sofa.  Yep, all of a sudden she wants to be on top and you have 120 lbs on your stomach.

The feeling starts turning to cramping, and you think back to this season’s Nip/Tuck episode where Sean McNamara is in a hot tub with his new girlfriend and she has accidental diarrhea in the tub.  Could you now be that girl, and this white sofa your hot tub?  Heavens no.  You have to fight the urge to splurge.  At this point, the last thing on your mind is sex.  The only thing keeping you motivated is trying to figure out how you will get home before exploding while at the same time leaving an air of intrigue that will get you a sure call-back.

Ya, so its either this, or having to fart, a lot.  Either way you feel like shit, literally.  So what do you do?  How many dates have to be ruined?  Should we really blame it all on Mexican food?  Or can bad sushi join the pack as well?

At the convergence of Black History Month and Valentine’s Day, Uva Lagrape has returned to talk about my 2 favorite topics: Race and Love. But this time the script will be “flipt”, and the Black Man will be put forth to represent the Generic Single Man.

I have been part of a research group studying inter- and intraracial dating among African-Americans. Much of the interviewing has been done here in Charlottesville, and I thought it would be interesting to share with Cvillain some of the insights we have collected from male subjects in both group and individual interviews. The group interviews in particular have evinced lively discussion and scintillating quotes. This study was partially inspired by an article in the Washington Post from a few years ago. The Post article was written in the wake of the hoax that “70% of Black Women are single.” Thank you Tyra and Oprah for helping spread this urban legend.

Anyway, the quotes are juicy and give us an inside look into the unfiltered thoughts single men have toward women:

“I usually attract women who are mentally healthy…but, unfortunately, mentally healthy women are too sane to pretty themselves up except on the rarest occassion.”

»Read More

Charlottesville can feel really small sometimes. You head out to the bars on the mall and you probably see the same 500 people almost every night.  Sometimes we’re graced with social students from UVA, but most of the time, it seems as though there is a divide between the non-UVA singles and the UVA singles.  I don’t mean UVA employees; they seem more willing to escape Mr. Jefferson’s corner scene.  I mean the grad students who live only within UVA and look at you weird if you are a “townie.” Ok, I digress and I know that generalizations are evil, bad, mean, wrong, etc, but the point is we live in a town with a small dating pool.

What we’re talking about here is how you probably know almost everyone in Charlottesville through at least a second connection.  This becomes a particularly pertinent issue when you are on the dating scene.  »Read More

This is the fourth feature “Charlottesville Deathmatch” where we put two or more similar businesses, places, restaurants or things into a sealed cage of pain, suffering and death. Ultimately only one contestant lives and it’s up to you to figure out who that is.

In this town that is often touted as having one of the highest per capita number of restaurants, I find myself often running into a dilemma shared by many singles (or swingers) in this town.  Going to dinner with someone in Charlottesville strikes me as a decision that’s almost as difficult as getting someone to go to dinner with you.

We’ve got a long list of contenders (pretty much every restaurant in town).  If you add any chain to this list, then cVillain may implode.

So, the decision making process for the first several dates has to incorporate the following factors (poll after the break):

»Read More

By now you should all remember what happened this past Halloween, or your friends should have told you the story about how you ended up lost in the woods in a drunken stupor.  A bunch of things could have happened this weekend, but lets narrow our discussion to two:

1.  the craziest things you saw happen Friday night.  I will start…it was a cold dreary evening, and amidst Vanilla vodka shots and random Miller Lites, an elf appeared, or was it Link from Zelda?  Anyways, this Zelda creature had a real-live hunting bow and arrow with him….with a quiver full of arrows.  After a couple drinks it doesn’t take much to convince someone to do something they should never ever do…target practice on Halloween.  Zelda must be a good shot sober, but definitely not under the influence.  A couple of the other party goers setup a target shooting area, 3 feet away from Zelda consisting of a large bottle of laundry detergent.  Our brave hero prepared for the shot, and missed!  The arrow missed the bottle by 4-5 inches and went straight through the wall behind it.   What ensued was a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie.  All but the last inch of the arrow was firmly stuck in the wall.  When we tried to remove it we heard a very loud scream and some blood began pouring over the arrow.   Actually, Zelda didn’t hurt anyone, but imagine if there had been some drunk couple getting it on behind the wall and when they were ready to put on their “o” face the scream of the century is heard, and the other person thinks its kinky because it has a creepy “i’m dying” undertone to it.  Ya, it could happen to you to.
2. I am sure plenty of girls and some guys ( i am staring at all of you cross dressers) had racy outfits on.  Did any of you breakup or have a fight this weekend due to an costume?  We want details people.

By the way if you are reading this SHAME ON YOU, go vote!  [pic from joeltelling on Flickr] 

In our efforts to bring you the best online and offline experience, cVillain will attempt to set you up with other cVillains. Yes you heard right, you can meet and possibly date a real, live cVillain. Here is how it works:
Fill out the contact form
We will try match you up with someone
We will schedule the date/time/location for you
You show up, and pay attention to the details
We will interview you and see how the date went
We will post the blind date story on cVillain

Please fill out the form below to get started!
»Read More

At one time or another most of us have been in a certain kind of relationship called ‘friends with benefits’.  Generally the benefits don’t include gym membership and health insurance (though I met one young lady who told me she’d take this as an option over sex) – so you get the idea.  You’re good friends, you both get horny, you both get drunk, and it’s usually all at the same bar.  You’re both twenty something downtown-bar-hopping kids with libidos that cannot be contained.  What a coincidence!  Why not kill two birds with one stone and in the morning get a hungover breakfast at Blue Moon, have a couple mimosas, and go your separate ways.  There’s no emotional attachment, you both get your hookup with person of choice, and life is good – right?

Well, unfortunately the ‘friends with benefits’ model is eventually threatened by the prospect of a more serious relationship.  I polled a half dozen men and women about this subject and came up with a list of warning signs for those currently in FWB status.  If you start to exhibit any of these behaviors, or your benefit friend does, you are drifting towards relationship territory.  Take it as you will – I know plenty of people who started out as FWBs and ended up happily dating.  None of these things are inherently bad, but be aware – if a relationship is not at all what you want then these are 10 warning signs that you’re drifting in the wrong direction:

In no order of importance:

1- You go over to their house and don’t have sex.

»Read More