You’re at work and that familiar feeling hits. Your bowels say, “Hey dude, it’s time for a little date with the toilet. Let’s go. NOW.” and you’re filled with a sense of dread.  You’ve probably got 1 of 2 crappy scenarios:

#1: The single bathroom.

This is the worst. You go in, you try to get to business and inevitably, someone’s gonna come knock knocking on the door. Which sucks because for some reason, your butt hears the knock and gets stage fright. Your butt’s like, “Dammit! Go away! I need to be alone with this toilet. Aghh!” And your #2 is henceforth ruined because you know you’re gonna walk out and your co-worker’s gonna go in and flap their hand in front of their face and say something douchey like, “Oh man! Somebody took a dump-a-rooni!” or else you just know they’re gonna walk in and know that you POOPED and judge you. And you’re mortified. Worst case scenario is when you walk out and that hot chick/dude you have your eye on is waiting. You want to die.
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