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Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up for your week in review.
We got villains dissing on wine bars, gunshots at the Outback and some Grecian food. Don’t forget to stop around back to sample our smelly PR move, celebrity wannabies, and your favorite musical acts. When you leave, grab the gift bag– it’s full of tats, lawsuits, and monkey sex. Enjoy!
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Gregg Oxley has kindly invited cVillains to a super exclusive wine tasting event at Crush.
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These past two weeks, we’ve seen three discussions, that have remained largely apolitical, surrounding the question of the extent to which society should make decisions for those who cause themselves harm. If it were only black and white, right?
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Is it really more diificult for women to find a good man in this town?
Do men really have it made?
Who has the upper hand when it comes to dating?
Who has the biggest challenge when it comes time to finding a real relationship?
Is it easier or harder finding a date or relationship if your gay? What if you’re a lesbian?
And where does one go or not go to find that someone special? (I mean for a relationship, not hook-up although that’s a fine thing to discuss too.)
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Choose my airport.
Given the choice between driving to IED, RIC, or staying here, I go CHO. Let’s be honest:
Sometimes, CHO flights are too cost-prohibitive or require two layovers. But if you value sanity at about $100 or less, as I do, go CHO.
Don’t talk to the person next to me on the flight.
I make exceptions only for the rare occasions that a romantic spark lights up over our shared one-inch-thick armrest, and when I need someone to move to get to my seat. But I especially keep mum during the holiday season. Why? We’re all a little stressed, and holidays are personal. You might love talking about getting together with your six perfectly successful siblings and adorable nieces and nephews (and the family dog!) all staying under one McMansion roof with a Christmas Eve recitation of the Night Before Christmas, and the person next to you might be on their way out of the country because they’re retired and their spouse just passed and their kids don’t invite them to their homes. Or the person next to you might not care, and that person is me. I say hi when I board, bye when I land, and hope my adjacent passenger enjoyed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, meals, movies, and reading. I don’t even chew gum. I carry a toothbrush in my bag. Take the whole armrest, for all I care.
Make my needs known.
This goes for everything from my airport arrival to what brand of coffee is brewed each morning. Curbside pick-up versus park-and-greet was actually a point of contention for me, until I learned that we [Lilith’s real last name]s are all late for everything, and no person related to me will ever have time to park and come inside to hug me and help with luggage. We’re much better, though, about saying what we want– from breakfast foods to have around to day excursion ideas. The worst we can do is say no or, “If you don’t like my Sanka and feel a need to judge me for not being able to afford your sell-out corporate would-you-like-a-sampler-CD-with-that joe, you can bring your own coffee maker. And a partridge in a pear tree.” Just kidding. We’re lucky, in that we like each other. I’m pretty sure.
Treat my elders with respect.
The trick is to do everything for my elders without making them feel like they can’t do stuff anymore, while being open to criticism for not doing it their way. I hope to one day be given unbridled whining privileges by future generations, so it’s only fair. I’m a lot more respectful than that opener makes me out to be– my “grands” are really sweet and have incredible stories, and I wish I saw more of them. I’m learning to be attentive to personal hygiene, heavy lifting, lawn care, and house cleaning. Change bandages, take out the trash, shovel snow, vacuum. My elders gave me life! And they could probably have just as easily taken it away in the 20 years I was making their lives hell and costing them a small fortune! Wonder where I get my less than squeaky clean sense of humor from? She’s over 80.
It’s not about me.
The holidays are about everyone. If the stress becomes unbearable, I’ve learned to excuse myself for a short walk or a cell call to a friend. Relatives have made digs at my personal life or a previous career, and I’ve learned to take it. My life became a lot more enjoyable and simpler when I stopped feeling the need to be right or prove myself to everyone. I could have ditched this whole post and just written, “The holidays aren’t about me” and it would be the same thing.
Happy holiday season!
* I ran a Google search on “run the gambut” versus “run the gambit” to get the right spelling, and cVillain.com came up as the 8th result on the former spelling variation! We are infamous.
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A friend and I were discussing the single life in Charlottesville yesterday, and we decided that the one complaint we hear the most frequently is that people can’t be “anonymous.”
It’s not that our friends don’t want to be known. It’s that our friends wish to be selectively anonymous.
“Oh him? He’s a player. I mean, you could be the one for him, but…”
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Greetings, I was toying with the idea of posting this top ten on my MySpace page, but nobody but oy would appreciate my efforts I am afraid. PLEASE do not construe this as a rant or complaint, this compilation is solely meant to be an observation.
So guys here is. And please feel free to chime in.
In no specific order, the Disproportionate Prevalence list of my beloved Charlottesville.
Disclaimer: This list has been created using purely the organic and 100% recyclable phrase â€Charlottesville has too darn many … “
…Real Estate Agents/Attorneys, (Pick your evil)
…Braids (new trend lately?)
…Publicly juggling pre-teen boys
…Volunteers
…Lightening strikes
…Networking groups networking the heck out of every little available space in every little coffee bar in town.
…Honda Elements/Toyota Prius (again, pick your evil)
…Tabloid Sized “Opinion-zinesâ€/Public opinion outlets. (Note I didn’t use the word Rant)
…Bowties’n’suspenders
…Bumper stickers (On the front)
I know the cvillians out there are a tough crowd, and this is what they do for fun?!
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…you are some fancy longish ‘do lover [removed “a girl”… see comments below], a metro, a fancypants, not chill, not cool, a Dep owner, a spiker, a punkrocker, a tightwad, an indy rocker, a progressive… ok you get the idea.
Staples Barber Shop has been run by Ken Staples for an eternity. Quite literally, Ken Staples has been around since the 50s cutting hair (I’m guessing but it doesn’t matter, anyway). Ken stands out amongst the gentlemen that cut only men’s hair in this traditional Charlottesville establishment. His hair is whiter, his hands are shakier, less people sit in his chair, but trust me it’s worth it.
I never thought I would recommend a barber when he makes me fear the loss of an ear.
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cVillains - It’s on. If you don’t know where South Street is, then you don’t deserve to join us at the meetup. I’m open to more ideas, but here is what we were thinking..
Not everyone has flashing lights, because we aren’t all cool like that
Not everyone will feel comfortable (at first) with the meetup
Not everyone wants to strip naked and run around the bar
Given these limitations, we were thinking (with your approval) that everyone could do something silly.
Here is our idea and if it sucks you say so and we can do something else.
Go to the steps in the middle of the bar exactly at 9PM. Look at your neighbors and ask “What time is it?” If your neighbor answers “it’s cVillain time” then you know you found the right person. It should be pretty funny if we have a bunch of people asking what time it is at the same time. Be merry and drink…
Everyone is invited. If you have better ideas then let us know!
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