Choose my airport.
Given the choice between driving to IED, RIC, or staying here, I go CHO. Let’s be honest:
Those drives are painful. Going north, I have to run the Madison County gambit.* There are no Sheetz stations between here and Richmond (or any places where I can get the latest flavor releases of my favorite junk foods).
Inevitable layovers in the Charlotte Airport mean free wireless for cVillaining, rocking chairs, and samples –with free dirty looks!– from the chocolate store.
And most importantly, I can check in thirty seconds before the gate closes. (Close enough.)
Sometimes, CHO flights are too cost-prohibitive or require two layovers. But if you value sanity at about $100 or less, as I do, go CHO.
Don’t talk to the person next to me on the flight.
I make exceptions only for the rare occasions that a romantic spark lights up over our shared one-inch-thick armrest, and when I need someone to move to get to my seat. But I especially keep mum during the holiday season. Why? We’re all a little stressed, and holidays are personal. You might love talking about getting together with your six perfectly successful siblings and adorable nieces and nephews (and the family dog!) all staying under one McMansion roof with a Christmas Eve recitation of the Night Before Christmas, and the person next to you might be on their way out of the country because they’re retired and their spouse just passed and their kids don’t invite them to their homes. Or the person next to you might not care, and that person is me. I say hi when I board, bye when I land, and hope my adjacent passenger enjoyed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, meals, movies, and reading. I don’t even chew gum. I carry a toothbrush in my bag. Take the whole armrest, for all I care.
Make my needs known.
This goes for everything from my airport arrival to what brand of coffee is brewed each morning. Curbside pick-up versus park-and-greet was actually a point of contention for me, until I learned that we [Lilith’s real last name]s are all late for everything, and no person related to me will ever have time to park and come inside to hug me and help with luggage. We’re much better, though, about saying what we want– from breakfast foods to have around to day excursion ideas. The worst we can do is say no or, “If you don’t like my Sanka and feel a need to judge me for not being able to afford your sell-out corporate would-you-like-a-sampler-CD-with-that joe, you can bring your own coffee maker. And a partridge in a pear tree.” Just kidding. We’re lucky, in that we like each other. I’m pretty sure.
Treat my elders with respect.
The trick is to do everything for my elders without making them feel like they can’t do stuff anymore, while being open to criticism for not doing it their way. I hope to one day be given unbridled whining privileges by future generations, so it’s only fair. I’m a lot more respectful than that opener makes me out to be– my “grands” are really sweet and have incredible stories, and I wish I saw more of them. I’m learning to be attentive to personal hygiene, heavy lifting, lawn care, and house cleaning. Change bandages, take out the trash, shovel snow, vacuum. My elders gave me life! And they could probably have just as easily taken it away in the 20 years I was making their lives hell and costing them a small fortune! Wonder where I get my less than squeaky clean sense of humor from? She’s over 80.
It’s not about me.
The holidays are about everyone. If the stress becomes unbearable, I’ve learned to excuse myself for a short walk or a cell call to a friend. Relatives have made digs at my personal life or a previous career, and I’ve learned to take it. My life became a lot more enjoyable and simpler when I stopped feeling the need to be right or prove myself to everyone. I could have ditched this whole post and just written, “The holidays aren’t about me” and it would be the same thing.
Happy holiday season!
* I ran a Google search on “run the gambut” versus “run the gambit” to get the right spelling, and cVillain.com came up as the 8th result on the former spelling variation! We are infamous.
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