The Virginia State Crime Commission just completed its final meeting of 2009, and among the various items on the agenda was a review of legislative recommendations surrounding the growing ’sexting’ issue.  As the proliferation of camera phones in the hands of the youth has grown, so has the utilization of these technologies for ‘illicit’ purposes (although it also seems to be a growing concern for the 55+ set).  The mashup of Sex + Texting has resulted in a whole new set of issues for parents and lawmakers worldwide.

While the VSCC elected to dodge the entire issue at this point, stating that creating legal protection for children caught with such material may generate loopholes for pedophiles and sex offenders, numerous other states and countries have tackled the topic head on, often resulting in criminal charges, including accusations of child pornography being levied against six teenagers in Pennsylvania.  The convoluted issue also nearly cost a Loudoun County assistant principal his job & freedom in 2008, after the principal requested that he maintain a copy of a sexually explicit image discovered on a students cellphone for evidence purposes. »Read More

The Charlottesville Police Department dropped the net on ten individuals alleged to be involved with prostitution earlier this month.  From the 1st through the 4th of November, the CPD investigated online advertisements which ’suggested’ a sexual service in exchange for money.

The department has apparently received dozens of complaints regarding online service offerings in our area.

Each of the nine women & one man were charged with a class 1 misdemeanor, carrying the possible maximum of 1 year incarceration.

We have to wonder if a quote delivered to Charlottesville parents is still appropriate (with minor alteration) in this instance:

“Wouldn’t you rather your child be a drug dealer than a drug addict?” – John Waters

Sex continues to be one of the things which can be given away legally, but charging for it is a crime.

Quiznos, McDonald’s, Burger King, Hardees, I can’t get over the level of marketing stupidity you have when you associate fast food with hot women, sex, blow jobs and all the other stuff which has NOTHING TO DO with your crappy food.  It doesn’t make the food taste any better.  Walking into McDonald’s the other day I couldn’t stop thinking about the “Awesome Threesome” and how gross that would be if it were included in any real (read: non-food) sexual experience.  Burger king, you just kind of piss me off with Seven Incher ad.  Anyone else notice a recent rise of the porno food ads?

Quiznos Tasty Torpedo

More sexually dirty food advertising videos after the break… »Read More

Since we’re in a “Top 10 of Charlottesville” mode, I’ve got to add my own flava to the archives. I am qualified to make this list because I may or may not have had sexual relations in these places. What can I say? My parents were attentive so I had to get creative. There are more awesome spots than are listed, but I’m currently using them so too bad for you.

Some public sex tips:

• For the places open 24 hours, go earlier in the morning rather than late at night (after 3am instead of before). Be careful as you pass 5am, for that’s when custodians start to arrive. Sunday mornings are the best because there are usually no custodians working.
• Wear clothes that are easy to pull up and down: dresses/skirts; sweaters; trackies (warning: cloth track pants are no good at hiding erections. In fact, they highlight them.). No buttons or zippers.
• Having sex sounds the same in every language from any distance. Stay quiet unless you know you have noise insulation.
• If you get caught, just walk away. Don’t say anything. Don’t look at the person who caught you. Dress and walk away before they pull their fucking camera or phone or both out of their purse. If a cop catches you, they’ll just ask you to leave.

The list…

»Read More

Edited for accuracy by Mr. G

And so it happened once upon one dark night in Northern Albemarle County, one woman mesmerized by the tiny dancing letters on the screen, felt compelled to do some inter-knitting googelix search. She was reading and posting much useless commentary on her favorite community blog-o-microcosm, the notorious “cVillain.”  That night specifically, the thread called “The Mysterious Female Orgasm” had the many bleary eyed opinionated posting interknitters buzzing.

The waves went high as some cVillain knitters gave quite literate descriptions of methods and used words most often filtered and censored by otherwise hyper sensitive little interknit filters designed to moderate the durrty feelthy perverse words that may blind poor ignorant and unsuspecting interknitting surfers. Somehow the magic and wonders of a full moon lit night let the juicy words slip through the holes in the interknit nets and sparked much dry heaving and a few links made of WIN before the conversation, as usual, settled on the semantics of having the conversation and the appropriateness of the thread. THE REST OF THIS POST IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

»Read More

So there you are, Friday night, and your date is smoking hot.  You have had a couple drinks, maybe at Zo.Ca.Lo or the new hip Mexican place (do those two words go together?) Ventana, and its about that time to go home and get your groove on.  Not the John Travolta Saturday Night Fever groove, but that Barry Manilow groove, where everything is smooth and sexy.

You both crash through the front door, hands all over each other leaving a trail of clothes from the door to the bedroom.  In mid-hickey you remember that scene in Hot Shots where Charlie Sheen is having sex with Valeria Golino.  This would be a normal sex scene, except that things are so hot in the bedroom, he fries an egg on her belly, along with bacon and hash browns.  Inspired by this memory of your youth, you take a break whispering, “let met get something from the fridge, I’ll be right back” (all seductive and what not).  Dashing through the kitchen you find that bottle of Ready Whip you thought you would never use and that 2 year old bottle of Hershey’s chocolate sauce (the one with the crusty chocolate sauce on the cap).

Your mate looks at you and the cream and chocolate and thinks, man this is going to be hot.  What happens next is something few people outside of Baskin Robbins have ever seen.  »Read More

With a little help from our friends at Holy Taco, I will try and guide you single folk for your upcoming fiestas

1. Do your homework:  hopefully there is a facebook page setup for the party.  if not create one.  this will help with rule #2.  once the group is set, stalk and befriend your choicest cuts of meat.  spring break pictures from college are a good benchmark to stalk on, however if college was more than 6 months ago their bodies could have changed drastically….for the worse.  you have been warned.   make friends ahead of time.  look at their pages, and wikipedia every one of their hobbies.  its not every day a guest at a party meets another person with the same interest in 14th century bible collecting.
2. Make an entrance:  your goal is to have everyone know who you are within the first 30-45 min of the party.  remember, time is of the essence and there is definitely a deadline (midnight).  try to be memorable but not stupid, cute but not cocky, funny but not cheesy
3. Watch for the alcoholics:  after the point of no return, people who have had too much to drink are flipping annoying.  know how to look for those and avoid them….you do not want to dilly dally
4. Look for desperate people:  as the night mosies on, pheremones and good looksdo their part to bring pairs together.  for the rest of us its a free for all.  look for the wall flowers and draw them out, like picasso paints…or something
5. Prepare yourself:  be ready to entertain your target be they sober or drunk.  rule #1 helps with this.  you should know the family tree, favorite book and whether or not they are married to their best friend from high school
6. Make someone feel really good about themselves:  if you are seriously considering this step you most likely have not followed steps 1-5.  either repeat this exercise all over again, or find someone with something seriously wrong with them and pretend they are 150% ok.  if you act this way when you have a drink in hand, the other person will assume you are drunk, you have no inhibitions and are speaking veritas
7. Prepare your exit:  once you are ready to seal the deal you better have  Jeeves waiting for you, or Wahooptie on stand by.  there is a fine line between someone seriously considering going home with you and realizing they are about to go home with you, then snap out of the funk and run away, far far away….

happy hunting
[pic from motleypixel on flickr]

Last night was rainy and cold and called for a movie in bed with some red red wine. I accidentally ended up watching this movie about this sex club in NY called “The List”. Basically if you were hot or powerful, you got to be on The List and people would call you and say, “Are you free tonight?”. If you answered yes, they told you to meet them at a certain hotel and you went and knocked the boots, NSA, no names.

After the movie, there was some commentary from the director and a sex therapist, declaring that sex clubs like the one in the movie do exist! All over America! They may not be a list per se but everywhere around the country, they stated, people are finding ways to anonymously bump uglies.

Which leads me to wonder…are there any sex clubs in C-ville? »Read More

I have heard from various people around town about the prevalent use of cocaine.  This surprised me quite a bit!  Quoting a local:

If you are out past 2AM partying, odds are everyone is coked up

Seriously?  Maybe we are a little-big city!  What brought this to light was an article today from the Daily Mail that reports cocaine and ecstacsy deaths are up 1,200% since 1993.

‘People think they can copy celebrities and do a quick line because it doesn’t have the same stigma as other class As but it’s actually just as destructive. ‘People are often ignorant of the risks of combining alcohol with cocaine for example, which can increase the risk of liver and heart disease, strokes and epilepsy.

‘The increase in deaths among men in their 30s and 40s is worrying. It suggests that more people are continuing to experiment with drugs well into adulthood.

Do you powder your nose?

[pic]

How ’bout it “Cvillians?” What are your daily doses of dramatic woo-ing? The shopping spree at the Fashion Square Mall that turns into mental undressing of the guy or girl next to you that by fate, turns into the one you snuggle up with that night, or the incredible specimen of the opposite sex that your friends introduce you to at Blue Light? Charlottesville has been rated numerous years as one of the best places to live in the United States. People come here from all over to live, find a job and settle down. A place of excitement, beautiful rolling country, and wealth. A balance of innocence like Fridays After 5 and the slight corruption of Club 216 that make C’ville sit still on its pendulum and give the people the chance to sway. What could be a better place to find love, sex, a significant other and the romance of your life than a place that is so balanced like this small city, big town? It may lack the splendor of the sky-scraping buildings of New York City and it doesn’t have the rushing ocean breeze of a marine paradise but what it lacks in the obvious it has in its intricacies and distinct personality that one can only understand and be part of after residing here for a good amount of time. There are unique stories all around C’ville of romance that take place in this inimitable town that we, as locals, experience. So “Cvillians”, let’s hear those passionate stories that stimulate the hearts of anyone who cares enough to be touched by it!